A peculiar court case has recently captured the public’s attention: The baby of a mother pressed charges against their mother for giving birth to them. Apparently, the birth was so unsatisfactory that the plaintiff received auditory and visual trauma from the disgust and harassment from the doctors, as well as sustained neglect from the mother subsequent to their birth.
“They were just screaming and yelling at me while forcibly evicting me from my home!” the baby told CT in an exclusive interview outside the courthouse. “I was still sleeping during that time too! They woke me up from my much needed beauty sleep. So, of course, now I’m suing for emotional distress too.”
The shouting and lights purportedly hurt the baby’s ears and eyes, resulting in the need for hearing aids, glasses, and an Instagram addiction. The baby also explicitly articulated to their mother and doctors that they neither wanted to take on the responsibilities of life nor face the harshness of reality. Clearly, they already foresaw those 4 a.m. late nights writing essays while crying and not sleeping, school food that is barely edible, and taxes. Yet, to the dismay of the baby, no one understood. According to their filed complaint, their guardians “only wrapped them up in a blanket that restricted them from trying to use their body language to further express their qualms.”
As of writing, the baby has received a degree from law school and is acting as their own lawyer for the case. If found guilty, their mother is expected to compensate the baby by paying for the necessary medical bills involved with the incident and providing housing of an equal or greater quality than the baby’s previous accommodations.
