Examples of how I don’t know what I’m doing

1. Last year I had a semester of courses that included: BCS 110: Neural Foundations of Behavior; HEB 103: Intermediate Hebrew; REL 189: Sexuality in World Religion; and DAN 250: Int/Adv Contemporary Dance.
Can I please be a dancing, Hebrew-speaking, brain-researching, religious-sex-expert please? Anyone hiring? At least this semester I’m taking a digital media studies class, a linguistics class, a statistics class, and a psychology class. Getting somewhere—maybe? Maybe. That’s what I tell myself.

2. This past summer, I’ve seen my friends take on internships, hold paid research positions, and travel the world. I was a counselor at summer camp for the eighth year in a row. Me, explaining my resume after college: “The fact that I kept going back to camp, even after it became questionable as a real adult, and when many told me I should pursue things more worthwhile for my future, shows how loyal I will be to this establishment. This experience also taught me unique, valuable life skills, like when one of my campers had a panic attack and started pulling out her hair, or when another went into the woods to do her business and a tree fell on her. I know how to respond to those types of situations. Also was a specialist in tye-dye and Israeli dance.”

3. I think a solid job to seek right now would be at Insomnia Cookies. I have gone to the Career Center to have them help me write a cover letter and resume for it.

4. I think I’m going to do a computer science cluster, because it will make me marketable in the real world. This is me throwing a proverbial dart at the proverbial dart board of Real Adult Life. Maybe it will hit something. I’m not very good at darts, though.

5. I feel confident about future job interviews/the working world because being in a sorority has caused me to collect many business casual outfits, and I feel fancy in my business casual pants. I have a dress I call my Interview Dress. Have not worn it to an interview. Have yet to have any type of interview. Still hopeful.

6. Daoists believe that taking action is a great mistake, and that people should do nothing and the universe will deliver to them what they need. I may be Jewish, but will unabashedly adopt these beliefs as my own.
I would feel guilty about the fact that I’m spending my parents’ money on a private, out-of-state school when I have no idea what I’m doing, but my mom makes me feel better. She tells me that college isn’t meant for getting trained for a specific career, but rather for getting a broad liberal-arts education that will prepare me to enter the professional world. My dad, on the other hand, tells me I need to get serious and figure out what the hell I’m doing. Then he tells me to take more science classes.
I’m working on it, Dad.