Humor
Humor
Tic tacs are good for when you’re hungry and want two hundred of something
This article has nothing to do with tic tacs (a variation of a Mitch Hedberg joke). Well, the first sentence does, so technically, at the very least this article has something to do with tic tacs. Instead, I’m going to write about my first year-and-a-month here at UR. When I first applied here, I thought […]
Humor
Apples
My older sister just started dating a doctor. I don’t really like him, so I’ve been sending my sister apples for the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, an apple a day isn’t keeping him away. Apples are an amazing thing. Believe it or not, apple was actually my first word. I guess this was a […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. A man was struck by a car while trying to cross the street in Delaware. Either way, his final destination was going to be a funeral home. 2. A New York court is set to hear a case that argues that chimps have rights. Let’s not forget, chimps have lefts, too. 3. A Silicon […]
Humor
Campus wi-fi upkeep cost hits record levels because of ‘that one girl who is always refreshing Buzzfeed in Psych 101’
UR’s senior information technology officer (who remains as anonymous as his job title) revealed early this week that the University’s wi-fi costs have hit record levels this semester. He reported tracing huge spikes in bandwidth usage in Hoyt Auditorium from 3:25 to 4:40pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays throughout the fall semester. The time period is […]
Humor
Gifted athlete intentionally avoids being socially prasied
The first thing I noticed about Cedric Dipanda, the newest member of the Rochester Yellowjackets basketball team, were his hands. They’ve been measured 11.75 inches, from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle finger. When he debuts in the NBA, as he’s expected to after his freshman season at UR, those […]
Humor
Get rid of the coin toss
The NFL needs to get rid of the coin toss to decide who ultimately gets the first chance to win in overtime. My reasoning is because a coin toss isn’t fair, and it’s very difficult for teams to practice calling heads or tails accurately. Could you imagine if pivotal decisions in U.S. history came down […]
Humor
Study: Gym closing caused weight gain
A study released this week by the University Health Services (UHS) reports that UR students gained an average of 13 pounds during the closing of the Bloch Fitness Center from Sept. 8 to Sept. 17. The Fitness Center was closed for renovations on the floor that absolutely could not have been done during the summer […]
Humor
Investigation; brownies too good
Douglass Dining Center is home to the “Kosher Korner” - a meal station where kosher options are served for those students who keep kosher and for those of us who simply enjoy the homemade taste of cold cuts. The Kosher Korner is currently under investigation because its famous brownies, situated directly to the left of the main […]
Humor
Eastman press release an interesing point
Before this week, sophomore Leo Larson and junior Anna Oliver were like all the other River Campus students. They waited in line at Starbucks, hung out with friends, went to their classes, and vegged out. However, this past weekend, they made a discovery that has shaken the entire UR community and will affect generations to […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. Pot infused pizza sauce is now coming in marijuana dispensaries. This ensures that customers too, like the pizza, will be baked. 2. Two teens are being accused of drawing a 100 yard penis on a football field. “It would have been bigger had it not been so cold out”, one teen said. 3. An […]
