Humor
Humor
Gifted athlete intentionally avoids being socially prasied
The first thing I noticed about Cedric Dipanda, the newest member of the Rochester Yellowjackets basketball team, were his hands. They’ve been measured 11.75 inches, from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle finger. When he debuts in the NBA, as he’s expected to after his freshman season at UR, those […]
Humor
Get rid of the coin toss
The NFL needs to get rid of the coin toss to decide who ultimately gets the first chance to win in overtime. My reasoning is because a coin toss isn’t fair, and it’s very difficult for teams to practice calling heads or tails accurately. Could you imagine if pivotal decisions in U.S. history came down […]
Humor
Study: Gym closing caused weight gain
A study released this week by the University Health Services (UHS) reports that UR students gained an average of 13 pounds during the closing of the Bloch Fitness Center from Sept. 8 to Sept. 17. The Fitness Center was closed for renovations on the floor that absolutely could not have been done during the summer […]
Humor
Investigation; brownies too good
Douglass Dining Center is home to the “Kosher Korner” - a meal station where kosher options are served for those students who keep kosher and for those of us who simply enjoy the homemade taste of cold cuts. The Kosher Korner is currently under investigation because its famous brownies, situated directly to the left of the main […]
Humor
Eastman press release an interesing point
Before this week, sophomore Leo Larson and junior Anna Oliver were like all the other River Campus students. They waited in line at Starbucks, hung out with friends, went to their classes, and vegged out. However, this past weekend, they made a discovery that has shaken the entire UR community and will affect generations to […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. Pot infused pizza sauce is now coming in marijuana dispensaries. This ensures that customers too, like the pizza, will be baked. 2. Two teens are being accused of drawing a 100 yard penis on a football field. “It would have been bigger had it not been so cold out”, one teen said. 3. An […]
Humor
Making some jokes about the news
1. A cop chased victims who shot him with a paintball. Nobody in the chase got away cleanly. 2. A home intruder was caught by cops lurking around Farmer Brown’s cornfield. He is being labeled as the “Corn Stalker”. 3. Apes at a Louisiana Zoo sang loudly enough to serenade all of its visitors. “Swingin’ […]
Humor
Not a fish story, I guess
In college, it’s good to be open-minded, but not so much that your brain falls out. For example, I’ve never been into eating fish. However, the other day I willed myself into eating fish fry. One fish two fish red fish eww fish. I shouldn’t have tried it. I, like the fish, got into trouble […]
Humor
Magic has to be real
In my youth, I took a liking to card tricks. I believed that every trick was powered by some mystical force, allowing magicians to do anything they pleased. Soon I realized my misconception and learned the way in which card tricks were performed. Right now, college is the main act in my life and the […]
Humor
School of Dentistry introduces new required class: “Astrology 101”
UR prides itself on its open curriculum, but future dentists will be required to enroll in an introductory astrology class in order to ensure that each student gets a well-rounded education. “These students are working so hard on learning about specificities in science. It’s about time they took a break and learned a bit about […]
