Humor

CT Feet: I kidnap other students and steal their shoes, and you should too

Kidnapping (or as we say in the industry, “assisted vacation”) can be an exciting way to make quick cash, as well as some new friends! Read More

Confused student learns that snow is not just a euphemism for cocaine

The would-be snow dealer, whose request for anonymity the Campus Times granted, hails from New Orleans, which may explain his confusion.  Read More

Meridians walk forward into the future

“This is a total game-changer,” said Meridians leader Kim Crosby, "especially after the first generation of Meridians all stumbled like baby gazelles." Read More

UR suggests ‘box, stick, and string approach’ as declining daddy alternative 

The traps, part of a UR initiative entitled “I Don’t See Why You Should Be Entitled to Food,” will be available for pick-up at dining halls this Tuesday. Read More

The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Satanic snowday!

Raised in the warm bowels of Hell, the coldest I ever got was when they blasted the AC in Hellementary School. But that doesn't mean I wasted my snow day! Read More

Wil reviews Halloween temporary tattoos and finds the void

Halloween has been over for a week, yet the tats remain steadfast on my arm, like the holiday's last great attempt to rage against the dying of the light.  Read More

Inspiring: My roommate has kept a sailboat parked in our driveway for over a year

I was able to secure an exclusive interview with this nautical visionary to figure out just how he pulled off such a feat in on-land docking. Read More

Ever Better CDCS

No amount of rearranging your labs and workshops will ever make Orgo go away, you poor suckers. Dump those "required" courses and take these ones instead! Read More

CT Recommends: Going to Mount Hope Cemetery with a shovel and getting to it

To those concerned about legality: If you plan to take anything with you out of the cemetery, you can always call it an “archaeological discovery!" Read More

CT Spooky: Harkness Hall isn’t real

Wake up people! Quad Fox is a robot, the clock tower hides a magical portal, and the bells from Rush Rhees emit a frequency that takes over your mind.  Read More