Student life in Rochester is often marred by compromise. We are hemmed in by oppressively cold weather, cramped living conditions, and a perilous job market. In times like these we all could use a pick-me-up, which is why I’m thrilled to report that my roommate Ivan has successfully kept a 16-foot sailboat in our driveway for over a year. I caught up with this nautical visionary to figure out how he pulled off such a feat in on-land docking.

Campus Times: Can you state your name?

Senior Ivan Frantz ‘20: Ivan Deray Frantz IV.

UR grad Chris Dalke ’19, who was visiting us this weekend: Dalke.

CT: So, did you always plan on keeping a 16-foot sailboat parked in our driveway for so long?

IF: No, I had big plans for that boat.

CT: Can you tell me what plans you had?

IF: I really hoped we were going to use it a lot over the summer. Um, and eventually store it, actually, by the water. But I don’t have a trailer hitch, so I couldn’t get it there, so it just kind of stayed.

CT: But it stayed to inspire everyone that sees it.

IF: Oh, of course. The possibility of going sailing is always there.

CT: Do you think that sailing is aspirational?

IF: Uh, yeah? Everybody wants to have few enough plans that they can go sailing. Like, when you’re sailing, you can’t be multitasking. You can’t even bring your phone.

CT: Do you think our neighbors are inspired by our boat?

IF: More confused, I’d say.

CT: But it’s, like, an inspired confusion?

IF: Yeah, sure.

CT: Are you aware that multiple people have asked if I live in “that house with the boat?”

IF: No, but I love that!

CT: How many times has the boat left our driveway?

IF: Uh, once.

CT: When was that, do you remember?

IF: It was over the summer; Dalke and I went sailing.

CT: Dalke, do you remember that? When you went sailing with Ivan?

CD: Yeah, I almost sunk it.

IF: Dalke did almost sink it!

CD: We ended up in, like, a foot of water.

IF: It was so cold.

CT: Where did you take it?

IF: What lake was that?

(Long pause. Dalke tries to remember what lake he almost sank Ivan’s beautiful boat in, and my equally inspiring roommate, Leo Orsini ‘20, starts playing “Revenge — A Minecraft Parody of Usher’s DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” next to my transcription device.)

CD: It’s one of the Finger Lakes. 

CT: What do you think about cats that spend cold winter nights inside the boat?

IF: I’m happy to help, I guess.

CT: What do you think about children that do that?

IF: I hope there aren’t children that do that.

CT: If there were, would you condone it?

IF: I think we need to find other situations for those children.

CT: Last question — what would you say to anyone else, on or off-campus, that dreams of keeping a boat on-land for a long period of time?

(Long pause)

IF: I mean (pause) it’s easy to do.

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Editor’s Note (5/4/24): This article is no longer being updated. For our most up to date coverage, look for articles…

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