Humor

UR senior confident “killer handjobs” deserve mention in study abroad reflection essay

What was originally just a brief mention of “extracurricular fun” gradually morphed into “getting absolutely wrung dry behind Club Catwalk.” Read More

Seligman indicted for affiliation with Nine Trey Bloods

The University President is the latest to be linked to the infamous gang by rapper 6ix9ine, also known as David Hernandez, also known as "Snitch." Read More

Rise of the Bathroom Bastard

For weeks my floor lived in fear of the Bathroom Bastard. I would have preferred to be kept off their victim list. But I didn’t get the luxury of choosing. Read More

Mangelsdorf announces new tunnel for Naruto running

The new tunnel opens following several pedestrian collisions, as well as an uptick in Naruto-shaped holes in the fences of Mt. Hope Cemetary. Read More

CT Origami: Rocky!

Step Five: Flip over your Rocky and fold entire paper in half diagonally, both directions. Crease to form an X-fold. Mind the alteriors. Read More

Genesee Hall residents targeted by jealous classmates, pelted with veggies

Victims were pelted with various rotten fruits and vegetables from a passing vehicle, and also reported hearing someone shout, ‘Sue B. in the house!’" Read More

Sexual Rocky

The official instructions for the optional tape-on wings for this week's CT Origami project! Read More

CT Advice: How to survive Yellowjacket swarms

Yellowjackets (Vespula cappella) are great for the local ecosystem, but they’ve been known to swarm. Read More

New Starbucks is the shrine to nihilism we need right now

New Starbucks is a two-way mirror between coffee and despair, a mobius strip where you can while away your days getting people’s names wrong and fussing over weird terms for different beverage sizes. Read More

UR Tech: How to insert a USB drive sensually, carnally, and right-side up

First you should make sure the rigid little guy you’ve got in your hand is, in fact, a USB. Could it be a shiny Lego, or a penis? Read More