How to lose faith in men in 10 dates

I’m pretty proud of myself for finding a partner that my friends met and didn’t immediately go, “Really? Him?”

Campus Times makes terrible mistake, allows asexual man to write Valentine’s Day article*

Now, with the versatile new Nintendo Switch™ console, I can finally experience true emotional intimacy. And you can, too, for just $299.99!

Kids love chemicals

The modern Four Loko was nerfed by Big Water, forcing the removal of caffeine, but it’s still a dangerous slurry of sugar and alcohol.

Help, my roommate took ECON 108!

I was willing to overlook the basic annoyances, such as his grumbling “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” when we’d pass food being given out.

Birding club takes flight

Birding Club has realized what the vast majority of onlookers have known for quite some time: These birds are fucking lame.

TikTok trend spurs rise in campus elevators thefts

Close acquaintances of the dirty, dirty criminals claimed that one party “would sneak his hand in at the last second to feel how tight it squeezed."


I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been sneak-attacked by a puddle on my treks across campus. A puddle.

Pep-less in Seattle

If greatness, achievement, or Ohio State’s Best Damn Band In The Land tickles your fancy, ditch those high hopes for rugby and a worn-out kazoo.

“Love? In THIS economy?”

In a nation crumbling under political strife and the imminent threat of global warming, there’s clearly one issue that should take precedence above all others: my love life.

Comic: Sorority shenanigans

Recruitment szn had a few too many changes this year.