Help wanted! After everyone’s mass resignation event during the production of our previous issue, the Campus Times is now in shambles. There’s no one left in the office, and it’s getting a bit lonely. I wanted to resign, but the resigning staff rejected my notice.
“You have not served your time yet,” they said. And so, I’ve been trapped in here for over a week now with only a single bottle of water to live off of. I’ve already been visited by Cat Crawford once or twice for moral support. I really can’t remember the exact number of times. Everything seems to have blended together within the windowless basement known as the CT office in Wilson Commons. I really can’t run this newspaper by myself. Please send help.
