By: Brain Ly

It’s no secret that UR’s first-year class sizes have been expanding recently as part of a concerted admissions strategy, and they’re about to get even bigger. Not only will this incoming class be the largest and most diverse group of students yet, but it will also include a whole new demographic never seen before.

In their most recent newsletter, UR took the historic step of expanding their admissions processes to include farm animals, zoo animals, and some turtles with exceptional SAT scores. 

Anticipating complex impacts of the changes, the administration has updated the Policy Against Discrimination and Harassment to protect the incoming cohort. Here are some ways to stay respectful of our incoming additions:

First, please refer to our newest friends by their preferred names. For example, male chickens should be referred to as roosters, and no other name (unless they prefer to be known as such).

Second, refrain from drawing inappropriate attention to any animal appendages. Please do not diminish our cows.

Third, for the love of everything that is dear to you: Please. Do Not. Ride. The Animals.

One fervent supporter of  these changes, high school principal Old MacDonald, has said that these changes will bring positive changes to the University environment and hopes that even the animals from Old MacDonald’s Farm will enjoy the benefits of higher education.

As always, we wish to promote a positive and supportive environment, and we look forward to what we can learn from our newest incoming class!

Ly will NOT be lumped in with the animals.

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