There is no better feeling than strolling out of your 2 p.m. lecture after a long morning of classes, ready to eat, knowing that Grab & Go, Douglass, and Danforth are all conveniently closed. Your stomach rumbles with pure joy as you remember that the dining halls don’t reopen until 5 p.m., and since you have recitation at 4:50 p.m., you won’t even be able to squeeze in a lunch of lukewarm, oil-drenched, clumpy pasta before class. It’s an unmatched sense of relief that your precious dining plan dollars are going to good use.

 A close second to this feeling would have to be hanging out late with friends (past 10 p.m. is late, guys!) on a Friday night, getting hungry, and realizing your options are to 1) trek up the hill to the extremely fairly-priced and not-at-all scammy Hillside Market, 2) order off of GrubHub with non-declining Real Person Money, or 3) eat the display-case lemon loaf from Starbucks. If you’re lucky, maybe you can snag a soggy McDonald’s order that’s been sitting on the steps of your dorm building for the past eight hours!

The dining system here at UR is near-perfect. A controversial take, I know, but the only thing I think we could improve would be making the weekend options just a bit more restricted. After all, psychology shows that having too many options causes distress. UR should make up its mind — either force us to get orange chicken from the Pit for breakfast or eat brunch food at Danforth every meal of the day. Better yet, close them both and make the Starbucks line even more insufferable!

Speaking of Starbucks, their unpredictable GrubHub status never fails to make my day. Are they really out of espresso at 10 a.m.? Are they actually closed for some valid reason, or is this their feeble attempt at reducing the influx of caffeine-addicted zombie students sleep-walking their way through the door? Does it say “no line” at 11 a.m. (the peak Starbucks hour) because of a glitch, or did everyone on campus simultaneously drop dead? Egg bites can’t really be out of stock, right — I mean, literally, what even are those? What psychopathic Egg Cult got kale and mushroom egg bites sold out? The mysteries never end, and I never want them to!

Overall, our dining system is one of the crown jewels of UR. It only continues to grow Ever Better. What’s more Meliora than getting rid of disposable boxes that you can sneak food out with, hoard desserts with, and take meals to a less concerningly-sticky part of campus with? The obvious answer is nothing. UR dining, UR doing great! Keep it up!

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