So you and your partner have agreed that you want to try anal sex- awesome! (Not there yet? Check out last week’s issue!) Butt – how does it really work?

For starters, it’s not like porn. I repeat, anal sex does not work like it does in porn! For entertainment purposes, porn cuts out the logistical parts of anal sex, so don’t be fooled into thinking you can just put something up your butt without preparation and have a good time.

Preparation starts long before the actual act. Very legitimate concerns about, you know, poop, can be address by first watching what you eat. For example, lunch at Danforth might not leave your anal cavity all too clean, if you know what I mean.

A diet heavy in fruits and vegetables can help with this, so maybe stick to the salad bar. Also, poop before anal sex. Nightmares await for those who have anal when they need to poop.

And lastly, get clean! Showers are good, but there’s really no need for anal douching. Douching can often cause more problems than it solves.

Now for the good stuff. Logistically, anal penetration should always start with lube. And I don’t just mean for the penis. If something is going up your butt – be it a toy, finger, or penis – you should whip out the lube.

The anal cavity, unlike the vagina, cannot and will not lubricate itself. You can use a super slippery silicone-based lube or the ever reliable water-based lube. Avoid oil-based lubes because they can trap bacteria, causing infection and because they wear down condoms. A slippery time is a good time.

Of course, butt stuff doesn’t have to be all about penetration. There’s a reason salad tossing was important enough to be featured in Nicki Manaj’s “Anaconda.” Most of the butt-related pleasurable nerve endings are just on the outside of the anus, so go ahead and give that area some attention.

For men, though, there’s an additional point of pleasure a few inches into the anus where the prostate will be stimulated. So that’s cool.

Moving on, after you’ve played outside the butt for a while and covered everything in lube, it’s time to poke! Still, putting a penis up your butt right away might not be a great idea.

To help relax the inner sphincter of the anus, it’s be best to work your way up in diameter, so maybe start with a finger. If your partner gives you any grief about not wanting to do that for you, you can politely remind them that they have no business putting their penis up your butt if they’re not willing to put a finger or two up there first.

Toys will work here too – but be careful. Things can get lost in the anal cavity, unlike the vagina, so any toys should have a flared base to prevent an embarrassing trip to the doctor’s office.

When you do work up to a penis, there are a few more things to remember. Anal sex is the highest risk sexual activity for spreading sexually transmitted infections because the anal cavity is more prone to tearing than the vagina.

For that reason, you must absolutely wear a condom.

Also, vaginas and butts do not mix – penises, fingers, and toys need to be cleaned before switching from anal to vaginal play in order to prevent infection.

Butt stuff can be fun, but only if you do it right. So go on, be careful, and have fun.

Armstrong is a member of the class of 2016.

Hippo Campus’ D-Day show was to “Ride or Die” for

Hippo Campus’ performance was a well-needed break from the craze of finals, and just as memorable as their name would suggest.

5 students banned from campus for Gaza solidarity encampment

UR has been banning community members from campus since November for on-campus protests, but the first bans for current students were issued this weekend.

Recording shows University statement inaccurate about Gaza encampment meeting

The Campus Times obtained a recording of the April 24 meeting between Gaza solidarity encampment protesters and administrators. A look inside the discussions.