The University has taken several precautions in anticipation of the finale of “Breaking Bad,” scheduled to air on AMC this Sunday at 9 p.m. As of Wednesday, the CARE network, which aims to identify and help students in distress, has crashed due to the influx of CARE reports submitted.
“The primary goal of the CARE network is to help students overwhelmed by the stress of college life,” Vice Provost & Director of UHS Ralph Manchester said. “Due to the overwhelming number of students whose very existence hinges upon ‘Breaking Bad,’ we are working overtime to ensure students’ needs are met.”
According to Manchester, the CARE network has seen an increasing number of hits ever since the season five premier this August. CARE reports, which are submitted anonymously by members of the UR community, require details about the condition of the student in question. Junior Gus Fring almost filed a report about a friend suffering from perfuse sweating, closed-eye hallucinations, and withdrawal symptoms typical of crystal meth users.
“Last week’s episode almost sent him over the edge,” Fring said. “But then I reminded him he haven’t yet seen the finale. That seemed to work well.”
Still, the high demand of CARE reports remains an issue.
“We are working our hardest to get the network back online as soon as possible,” Manchester said. “We’re sure as hell going to need it come Sunday.”
When asked his opinion of the matter, University President Joel Seligman replied, “You’re goddamn right.”
Borovcanin is a member of the class of 2014.