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One of my favorite things about college is having the opportunity to live on a campus where the population density rivals that of Bangladesh- and that’s not counting the family living in the basement of Hoeing.

While spending two thirds of the year in a human sized ant farm may not seem immediately appealing, it certainly has its upsides. There are the obvious social benefits and the convenience of class being a five minute walk away, but there’s also something else that often goes overlooked: living on campus offers the ability to observe a large number of people in a relatively controlled setting. It’s the perfect chance to make or confirm generalizations about the demographic that is “college students.”

For example: a generalization that definitely falls into the “confirmed” category is that college students are more or less sex fiends. As it turns out, the Hollywood portrayal isn’t that far off. Casual hook ups are common, previous wallflowers are blossoming and the girls who slept around in high school are sleeping around even more. Sure, there are a few who abstain (according to UHS, it’s actually 30 or 40 percent), but that number has dropped dramatically since high school.

On the other hand, something I wasn’t anticipating (that has now become a generalization) is how willing college students are to go out in public looking their worst. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining it’s a wonderful thing. I love being able to go to class knowing that at least four other people are also wearing the shirt they slept in and haven’t brushed their hair, because it’s before 11 a.m.

While both these findings are interesting on their own, what’s most impressive is the intersection of the two. The drive to fornicate appears to be so strong in our demographic that we’re not hindered by sweatpants or beards that look like pubic hair. For the guys, this almost makes sense teenage boys are less than subtle about their eagerness to further their sexual experience. Innuendo and dirty puns litter their conversation, much as downloaded porn litters their hard drives.

The point is, no one’s surprised when they’re willing to jump in bed with anything that has ovaries. Women, however, are a somewhat more confusing case. Theories such as sexual economics theory cite women as the product suppliers when it comes to sex and men as the buyers. With teenage men as desperate as they are, we have what’s known as a sellers market- women are in full control.

While ideas like this might seem a little radical, the reality isn’t far behind. This begs the question: why ladies? For every college guy that gets laid, there’s a usually woman beneath him, giving it up. For reasons I can’t quite discern, she’s unhindered by the gym shorts and unbrushed teeth.

Perhaps it’s the mere college atmosphere, or the fact that the pickings are slim. More likely, it’ll always remain a mystery. All unanswered questions aside, there’s something really worth appreciating in observations like this that we often take for granted.

Think about it: the grimiest, laziest years of our lives are debatably the most sex-filled. When I realized this, I was delighted at the irony, and I personally feel that you should be too. Now for grad school, where I’ll probably be less sexually active, and definitely grosser.

Bazarian is a member of the class of 2013.



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