‘That is an exit-only hole!”
That’s what my friend says every time I bring up anal sex. If you’ve ever talked to me in person, you know this is surprisingly often.
I’m sure a lot of you feel the same way. People are pretty sensitive about their butts. I mean, it’s true that poop comes out of there. You’re totally entitled to your feelings. Of course, just as many of you are or want to be having butt sex.
Anal sex became common in porn in the late nineties. It began as an ‘extreme” porn act, but made so much money that porn directors started including it more and more. Today, it’s standard to have at least one scene of ‘hardcore” anal penetration in a porno.
It’s no wonder people are interested in anal.
Aside from the cultural inundation of buttsex, it can just feel good for all parties involved. People have been putting various things in their butt for the whole of human history. It’s a fun thing to do. Sure, people with penises are dreaming of extra-tight canals, but anyone with an anus can play.
The butt has tons of nerve endings in both men and women. Even if the idea of anything in there squicks you out, the area around the butthole is very sensitive.
Keep in mind that there are lots of germs in the booty. If you’re going to be licking it, try a dental dam as a barrier between your mouth and the germs. You can find dental dams at UHS.
The inside of the butt is also very sensitive. There is one huge rule of thumb if you want to penetrate yourself or someone else in the butt. You must use lube, and lots of it. Spit doesn’t count. The anus does not lubricate itself. If you penetrate it dry, you’ll damage the very sensitive tissues inside it. Silicone-based lubes are good for anal penetration, as they’re a bit slicker and less gummy over time.
Men have the added bonus of the prostate gland, a nice little bundle of nerves and function tucked up in the body and most easily accessed from the inside of the anus.
Now, I’m not a guy and I don’t have a prostate. I’ve unfortunately never experienced prostate stimulation. I hear, though, that it intensifies sexual sensation and especially orgasm.
If you want to find the prostate, look for it about two inches inside the anus towards the front of the body. You should feel a nut-sized bump through the wall of the anus. Guys, this is probably something you should try on yourself before you have a partner do it, so you know what you’re getting into.
Whether you’re a guy or girl experimenting with anal stimulation, use your fingers or an anal-specific sex toy. Do not ever put random objects in your butt. Things can actually get lost in there, and anything you insert should have a flared base so it can’t be pulled up and inside. You do not want to end up in the emergency room.
If you want to have anal sex with your partner, be sure to take it slow. Don’t just go plugging away like they show in porn; they edit out all the butt prep in those film shoots. Work up to it with fingers and/or toys.
When it comes to the butt, it’s even more important than usual to communicate what you’re feeling and what’s okay. Anal sex should not hurt; if it does, stop and try again later. Try to pay attention to the difference between pain and strangeness, and relax into the sensations. Do what feels good.
If you want more information on anal, or any other kind of sex, send your questions (anonymous or not) to alyssa.waddill@rochester.edu. I’ll post my answers on the Sex and the CT section of the Campus Times blog, coming soon.
Waddill is a member of the class of 2009.
