UR Joking
Naruto
Mangelsdorf announces new tunnel for Naruto running
The new tunnel opens following several pedestrian collisions, as well as an uptick in Naruto-shaped holes in the fences of Mt. Hope Cemetary. Read More
Origami
CT Origami: Rocky!
Step Five: Flip over your Rocky and fold entire paper in half diagonally, both directions. Crease to form an X-fold. Mind the alteriors. Read More
Genesee
Genesee Hall residents targeted by jealous classmates, pelted with veggies
Victims were pelted with various rotten fruits and vegetables from a passing vehicle, and also reported hearing someone shout, ‘Sue B. in the house!’" Read More
Origami
Sexual Rocky
The official instructions for the optional tape-on wings for this week's CT Origami project! Read More
Insects
CT Advice: How to survive Yellowjacket swarms
Yellowjackets (Vespula cappella) are great for the local ecosystem, but they’ve been known to swarm. Read More
existential horror
New Starbucks is the shrine to nihilism we need right now
New Starbucks is a two-way mirror between coffee and despair, a mobius strip where you can while away your days getting people’s names wrong and fussing over weird terms for different beverage sizes. Read More
choose your own adventure
Choose Your Own Adventure: Orientation!
Overwhelmed by your new life at the River Campus? Play our Choose Your Own Adventure game and let us tell you how to be an independent person! Read More
choose your own adventure
Choose Your Own Adventure: D-Day!
Your buddy Xander slides you a scrap of tin foil. Inside is either a tiny blotter of LSD or the corner of a Forever stamp of Mr. Incredible. What do you do? Read More
160 Series
Math 160 series coursework found to contain traces of lead, arsenic
The study comes after years of enrolled students complaining about drowsiness, throbbing headaches, and difficulty with memory and concentration. Read More
guillotine
New student initiative for tuition increase to fund totally unrelated guillotines
Top UR administrators, last seen diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a swimming pool filled with 2019’s executive bonuses, were unavailable for comment. Read More
