Satire

Exclusive interview with a UR dropout turned influencer

From the Humor section: It’s plain to see that monetizing your hotness, or “influencing,” is now a viable and maybe even preferential career option. Read More

Your vibes based on your Insomnia Cookie choice

Everyone loves a late night Insomnia delivery, and the sweet sensation that comes with biting into a gooey cookie at 1 am, but not all cookie choices are created equal.  Read More

Scrapped plans for ‘Romantic lunch with Dean Runner’ released to CT

You are invited to join Jeff Runner, Dean of the College, for a romantic walk in the park on April 1, 2021. Read More

First-year engineers hazed by Hajim school

Alumni Jacobs Rotz, who graduated from Chemical Engineering in 2012, commented, “Most first-years have taken MATH 162 by the time the trials start, so nothing can really hurt them anymore.”  Read More

CURT 2: Electric boogaloo

On Tuesday, March 23, UR replaced the Coronavirus University Restart Team (CURT) with a new committee called CURT420. Read More

After giving the community what it desperately needed, Lil Nosey risks cancellation

We worry that the harsh consequences of cancelling will hurt not only Lil Nosey, but the community as a whole.  Read More

‘Strip for Scholarship’ work-study program announced

The “Strip for Scholarship” program application will open on April 12, and will be available to all undergraduate students. Read More

Letter to the Editor: What the FUCK is up with laundry on this campus

I hope nobody’s breaking guest policy to get laid, because there’s not a chance in hell they’ll ever get to wash those sheets. Read More

All UR sports teams undefeated in 2020 season

One of the most worrying aspects of the amazing defensive streak for the ’Jackets was the record-low attendance at games Read More

BAC of undergrads is sky-high during midterms

"For one student, his blood test had no actual blood; his veins were running only on Genesee Lights and Snapples. He’s a medical miracle!" Read More