Satire
Satire
Scrapped plans for ‘Romantic lunch with Dean Runner’ released to CT
You are invited to join Jeff Runner, Dean of the College, for a romantic walk in the park on April 1, 2021. Read More
Satire
First-year engineers hazed by Hajim school
Alumni Jacobs Rotz, who graduated from Chemical Engineering in 2012, commented, “Most first-years have taken MATH 162 by the time the trials start, so nothing can really hurt them anymore.” Read More
Satire
CURT 2: Electric boogaloo
On Tuesday, March 23, UR replaced the Coronavirus University Restart Team (CURT) with a new committee called CURT420. Read More
Satire
After giving the community what it desperately needed, Lil Nosey risks cancellation
We worry that the harsh consequences of cancelling will hurt not only Lil Nosey, but the community as a whole. Read More
Satire
‘Strip for Scholarship’ work-study program announced
The “Strip for Scholarship” program application will open on April 12, and will be available to all undergraduate students. Read More
Satire
Letter to the Editor: What the FUCK is up with laundry on this campus
I hope nobody’s breaking guest policy to get laid, because there’s not a chance in hell they’ll ever get to wash those sheets. Read More
Satire
All UR sports teams undefeated in 2020 season
One of the most worrying aspects of the amazing defensive streak for the ’Jackets was the record-low attendance at games Read More
Satire
BAC of undergrads is sky-high during midterms
"For one student, his blood test had no actual blood; his veins were running only on Genesee Lights and Snapples. He’s a medical miracle!" Read More
Darwin
Darwin: wise or wack?
I come to you today, dear readers, with what I unabashedly believe to be the biggest scientific revelation in the history of our species. Read More
Satire
How to throw a ‘virtual’ frat party in 2021
With the COVID-19 pandemic turning one full year old (happy birthday, by the way), people are growing impatient. That’s why I made the ultimate guide to throwing a 100 percent virtual frat party. Read More
