Humor

Sexual Rocky

The official instructions for the optional tape-on wings for this week's CT Origami project! Read More

CT Advice: How to survive Yellowjacket swarms

Yellowjackets (Vespula cappella) are great for the local ecosystem, but they’ve been known to swarm. Read More

New Starbucks is the shrine to nihilism we need right now

New Starbucks is a two-way mirror between coffee and despair, a mobius strip where you can while away your days getting people’s names wrong and fussing over weird terms for different beverage sizes. Read More

UR Tech: How to insert a USB drive sensually, carnally, and right-side up

First you should make sure the rigid little guy you’ve got in your hand is, in fact, a USB. Could it be a shiny Lego, or a penis? Read More

Choose Your Own Adventure: Orientation!

Overwhelmed by your new life at the River Campus? Play our Choose Your Own Adventure game and let us tell you how to be an independent person! Read More

Choose Your Own Adventure: D-Day!

Your buddy Xander slides you a scrap of tin foil. Inside is either a tiny blotter of LSD or the corner of a Forever stamp of Mr. Incredible. What do you do? Read More

Math 160 series coursework found to contain traces of lead, arsenic

The study comes after years of enrolled students complaining about drowsiness, throbbing headaches, and difficulty with memory and concentration. Read More

New student initiative for tuition increase to fund totally unrelated guillotines

Top UR administrators, last seen diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a swimming pool filled with 2019’s executive bonuses, were unavailable for comment. Read More

Letter: Quad Fox pushes back against scathing murder allegations

Anyone can edit a video to make it seem like a fox is eating a squirrel. In the video posted online, Quad Fox is actually eating tofu. Read More

UR found to be leading the nation in intellectual insecurity

UR students typically base their self-worth entirely on shouting down peers in casual conversation using facts they learned from a YouTube video. Read More