Humor

UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week

The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments. Read More

Demon Girl: Arizona isn’t Hell, but it’s almost as hot

Shoutout to the three Customs and Border Protection agents whose souls we ate. Sometimes you just need a little junk food. Read More

The official CT holiday traveler’s guide to insufferable passengers

Every airport and train station will be filled with thousands of people all overflowing with romantic ideals of travel. Those people are insufferable. Read More

Student plans on wearing same blue-and-white striped shirt (wrinkled, no tie) to three Formals

Sophomore and Kendrick Hall resident Nathan LaGuardia-Karsh said he came to this decision after absolutely no soul-searching or consideration. Read More

Just finals things: stories from the library

Deep within the stacks, first-year Rudolph Redmond's shoulders were low and his neck bent. The ghosts of Webworks past seemed to haunt him. Read More

The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Thanksgiving in Hell is Hell

How is a demon supposed to enjoy the holidays when meat is not present? Nothing personal, Beelzebub, but we know you’re the one who went vegan. Read More

CT Feet: Open letter to UR’s toe neanderthals

We can’t continue to fake surprise at outbreaks of foot-mouth disease when Brad over here keeps rubbing his athlete’s foot all over the classroom walls. Read More

CT Feet: I kidnap other students and steal their shoes, and you should too

Kidnapping (or as we say in the industry, “assisted vacation”) can be an exciting way to make quick cash, as well as some new friends! Read More

Confused student learns that snow is not just a euphemism for cocaine

The would-be snow dealer, whose request for anonymity the Campus Times granted, hails from New Orleans, which may explain his confusion.  Read More

Meridians walk forward into the future

“This is a total game-changer,” said Meridians leader Kim Crosby, "especially after the first generation of Meridians all stumbled like baby gazelles." Read More