Humor
UR Joking
Just finals things: stories from the library
Deep within the stacks, first-year Rudolph Redmond's shoulders were low and his neck bent. The ghosts of Webworks past seemed to haunt him. Read More
Demon Girl
The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Thanksgiving in Hell is Hell
How is a demon supposed to enjoy the holidays when meat is not present? Nothing personal, Beelzebub, but we know you’re the one who went vegan. Read More
CT Feet
CT Feet: Open letter to UR’s toe neanderthals
We can’t continue to fake surprise at outbreaks of foot-mouth disease when Brad over here keeps rubbing his athlete’s foot all over the classroom walls. Read More
CT Feet
CT Feet: I kidnap other students and steal their shoes, and you should too
Kidnapping (or as we say in the industry, “assisted vacation”) can be an exciting way to make quick cash, as well as some new friends! Read More
drugs
Confused student learns that snow is not just a euphemism for cocaine
The would-be snow dealer, whose request for anonymity the Campus Times granted, hails from New Orleans, which may explain his confusion. Read More
Meridians
Meridians walk forward into the future
“This is a total game-changer,” said Meridians leader Kim Crosby, "especially after the first generation of Meridians all stumbled like baby gazelles." Read More
Declining Daddy
UR suggests ‘box, stick, and string approach’ as declining daddy alternative
The traps, part of a UR initiative entitled “I Don’t See Why You Should Be Entitled to Food,” will be available for pick-up at dining halls this Tuesday. Read More
Demon Girl
The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Satanic snowday!
Raised in the warm bowels of Hell, the coldest I ever got was when they blasted the AC in Hellementary School. But that doesn't mean I wasted my snow day! Read More
CT Spooky
Wil reviews Halloween temporary tattoos and finds the void
Halloween has been over for a week, yet the tats remain steadfast on my arm, like the holiday's last great attempt to rage against the dying of the light. Read More
interviews
Inspiring: My roommate has kept a sailboat parked in our driveway for over a year
I was able to secure an exclusive interview with this nautical visionary to figure out just how he pulled off such a feat in on-land docking. Read More