Narratives
bathrooms
Rise of the Bathroom Bastard
For weeks my floor lived in fear of the Bathroom Bastard. I would have preferred to be kept off their victim list. But I didn’t get the luxury of choosing.
Genesee
Genesee Hall residents targeted by jealous classmates, pelted with veggies
Victims were pelted with various rotten fruits and vegetables from a passing vehicle, and also reported hearing someone shout, ‘Sue B. in the house!’"
choose your own adventure
Choose Your Own Adventure: D-Day!
Your buddy Xander slides you a scrap of tin foil. Inside is either a tiny blotter of LSD or the corner of a Forever stamp of Mr. Incredible. What do you do?
course planning
The CT guide to enrolling in a secret course
Examples include two credit course “CAS 105: ROC YOUR BAR MITZVAH” and 69-credit course “XXX 420: Free Weed and Skateboard Tricks.”
Alpha Delta Phi
Funk tribunal dooms UR band to eternity of groove
The tribunal sought to review the legitimacy of first-year fusioneers “Nut Butter” as an heir to the greasy throne of River Campus funk.
Nicolas Cage
Picolas Cage: The Epilogue: Return of the Cage
Several months after I had last seen Nic Cage, I was surprised to hear what sounded like someone opening the front door of the mansion he bequeathed me.
Nicolas Cage
The Chronicles of Picolas: The Hooker, the Cage, and the Pyramid
After three hours hiding from the police in an abandoned barn in Nevada, Nic Cage's nutritionist finally arrived. He had one question for her that would change all of our lives: "What can you tell me about pickles?"
Dora the Explorer
Dora and the Lost Ark: Closure
Before the commercial break, Indiana Jones tackled Dora into some bushes. Angus and Bartholomew were worried about what their daughter might see after the commercials
Nicolas Cage
Picolas Cage: Tokyo Cage
We made it for two hours before I saw the red and blue lights. We had discussed this possibility, but there's really no hiding a giant six-foot pickle hitched on to the back of a motorcycle
Narratives
GroundMan: An origin story
Jesse Sternbean arrived on campus that day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and completely clueless as to how literally that idiom would soon apply to him.
