Archives - CT Staff

Shove It, Buddy

Shove It, Buddy

New Squirreled Order

New Squirreled Order

Pure Shakespeare

Pure Shakespeare

Propoganda Pete

Propoganda Pete

D-Day Revolution: UR to get piss drunk

By Disco StuDoesn't AdvertiseEvery cool UR student knows that D-Day is the most fun day of the year that you can never remember. This year, however, "fun" just isn't good enough for college administrators. They have proposed a new plan for the event, a revolutionary plan - April 36 is D-Day Revolution."In spite of all […]

Conceptual Art

Conceptual Art

Eastman finally 'gets with the program'

By MadonnaProspective StudentIt only took 83 years but the School Formerly Known as the Eastman School of Music has finally found its calling.As of tomorrow, 26 Gibbs Street will become the home of the Eastman School of Dance."I can't tell you how happy I am to be announcing the change," Dean of the new Eastman […]

Danforth attempts new strategies to entice UR

By Gloria GaynorDisco-Happy DivaIn attempts to lure students into eating at Danforth Dining Center, UR's Dining Facilities has initiated new changes in Danforth's dining policies.Since colored plates and new hours have yet to improve student attendance, Dining Services has now hired waiters to entertain the crowd and agreed to monetary incentives for students choosing to […]

Apathetic students demand isolation

By Donna SummerRing My BellOn Friday, UR's apathetic students attempted to rally together in an effort to combat what they have coined an "air of involvement" on the River Campus. The students are concerned with recent protests near Rush Rhees and intellectual conversations within dorm walls. The movement has yet to gain a name, and […]

Security Slander

BY TAB LOIDShockingly TrueUR President Thomas "Michael" Jackson shocked fans and students alike on Wednesday when he grabbed UR's Mascot - URbee - with one arm and dangled him over a railing outside the second floor of Rush Rhees Library.In a statement released by his lawyer, Jackson said, "I made a terrible mistake. I got […]