Archives - CT Staff

The men are ugly, hard-boiled psychopaths, murderers and criminals. The women are beautiful deadly, waitresses, prostitutes and lesbians. There are gunfights, decapitations, dismemberments and castrations. Characters are beaten, tortured and shot. Many are killed and some eaten, not necessarily in that order. The violence is stylized, the blood flows by the gallon and it's all […]

Jude Law is People magazine's most recent recipient of "The Sexiest Man Alive" status. I've had my eye on Law since 1997's underrated film "Gattaca." After sitting through his hour and 43-minute film "Alfie" in 2004, I came to the realization that Jude Law is one of the rare faces that could have held my […]

Louise Glck's "Conversation with James Longenbach" in the Welles-Brown room on Wednesday proved to be an enriching conversation for those attending.Glck answered questions directed by Longenbach and by the audience. A hush fell over the room as Glck and her interviewer presented themselves at the table. Her list of accolades is impressive, including becoming the […]

BY THE PARTY POLICERockin' the ROC"Hello Rochester friend, what what what. My name's Borat, but people call me Steve. Steve! A year ago, I come to Rochester. I steal much of Rochester to bring home to my family. They like these things very much. Please in this article you will read them and also learn […]

BY Yo Yo Ma-SkynardHouse and R&B DJAt a faculty meeting at the Eastman School of Music last week, a number of issues relating to school improvement were discussed. The Eastman faculty is committed to creating an environment where student musicians can thrive musically, academically and professionally. The consensus was that this meeting was the most […]

By Dawson LeeryCreek PedophileAs a moviegoer, it's always hard to make the right choice at the multiplex. But thankfully, you have someone as dedicated as me to point you in the right direction. A few insiders in "the industry" sent me the rough cuts of some upcoming summer releases - the best of which I've […]

They're actually funny this week!! Promise!!

Recently, my partner in crime, Chubbs, has been disappointed with the lack of spice in our one -on-one relationship. I really want to give back to my partner because Chubbs has given me pure ecstasy over the last six years. Are there any other spots on our campus where I can extract Chubbs' love?~Spilling the […]

By Paris HiltonHey sexy! So, ironically - oh my god, that is, like, the biggest word I ever used - Joy Newman wasn't feeling well so she asked me to fill in for her. And if you're wondering where Nicole Ritchie is, she is probably somewhere not eating and becoming hotter than me, which means […]

The Campus Crime Connection, after reporting on countless juvenile infractions and recognizing the imminent reign of President-elect Joel Seligman, has decided UR should seriously consider removing undergraduates from the campus as a step toward increasing UR's reputation.Frankly, our undergraduate student body is just childish. We have students smoking up in the back rooms of Wilson […]