Donating blood is a bad idea and you shouldn’t do it. Just think about it. Think about it real hard. It’s your own blood, and you really need it. You can’t just give it away willy-nilly. What results from donating without a care is not a pretty picture. Red blood cells are very important for transporting oxygen to the cells in your body — some of those being your muscle cells. Without the transportation of oxygen to those cells, you won’t be able to walk to the third floor of Wilson Commons and into Starbucks to order your seasonal special Pumpkin Spice Latte with strawberry cold foam.
Might I add, have you even considered who you’re really donating the blood to? I mean like really sat down during your personal toilet time and thought for a good 20 minutes. I bet you haven’t. Well, I’m here to tell you that the blood you donate is not actually helping people who are suffering from a stab wound and desperately need blood to stay alive. NO! YOU’RE WRONG! Your blood actually goes to a not-so-secret society of mosquitoes that the government is raising to take over the world. The mosquitoes will go on to destroy all the crops and drive up grocery prices. Now I bet you’re also wondering where the government would house such a large operation without anyone knowing. In plain sight, obviously. That’s right, those large “data centers” are really just mosquito farms. They house billions of mosquitoes that just constantly multiply with the amount of blood being donated.
So, it’s time to stop donating blood. Not only are you making your life more difficult by having less blood, but when you donate blood you are also actively contributing to the increasing prices of groceries, more “data centers,” and the mosquito power of the government.
