Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you?
It started out pretty normal: I headed into the Douglass Dining Hall for dinner alone, as you do when all your real life friends ditch you. I went and found a table for two — a bit intimate for just one person, but whatever. I got food and sat down. That’s when it happened. That’s when Jimmithy, the physical manifestation of the voices in my head, appeared before me, and I mean, he literally spawned in. One moment the seat was empty and the next, he was sitting there. He pulled up in a freshly ironed suit and tie, exactly 6 foot and 2 inches, a perfect athletic build, black hair paired with dark eyes, a jawline sharp enough to cut the pork chop on my plate, and a scar cutting down the right side of his eye.
Oddly enough, I saw myself in him. We stared at each other for a moment before I spoke.
“Man, why are you here? I was hoping to have my dinner in peace, not have someone getting into my head about how my real life friends actually hate me and that THAT is the reason why they aren’t having dinner with me.” Jimmithy looked a little hurt by what I said, but I didn’t really care at that moment.
“Dang, not even a ‘hello?’ You know I’m just here to keep your lonely butt company,” he retaliated. I looked at him and thought about it. Maybe it wasn’t too bad to have him here. He’s been there for me every time anyway whether I was crashing out, trying to lock in, trying to lock in after crashing out, or even disposing of a dead body. What makes this time different?
“Fine, you can stay, but don’t tell me to hide one of your bodies again. That’s your problem this time,” I said. He reassured me that he wouldn’t, so I went back to eating.
After a short couple of minutes, Jimmithy leaned in close and whispered in my head, “You can’t seriously be enjoying the food that much … you know I can give you something much better…”
“Are you suggesting eating out?” I asked suspiciously, “We share the same bank account, so we’re the same amount of broke.”
“No, handsome. I’m suggesting eating YOU out,” he said playfully. At that, I spit out my food and stared in shock. Some other students present gave me funny looks, but little did they know what was happening (or about to happen, for that matter). With that, Jimmithy snapped his fingers, and Douglass Dining Hall fell away. A backdrop of falling rose petals subtly appeared and the scent in the air became filled with roses. Soft jazz — Billie Holiday, which he knows is my favorite — was playing in the background and ambient candle lighting filled the space.
Anyway, the point is, I enjoyed that date with the voices in my head (even if it was more than just a date). It can’t be that weird, right? I mean people date other people all the time too, so it’s not not normal. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear him calling for me. I’m coming, Jimmithy!
