I’m in an unfortunate spot right now as a rap fan. Two of my former favorite rappers, Kanye West and Jay-Z, are both seriously personae non gratae right now, due to the former’s antisemitic comments and the latter’s Diddy-related allegations. For one thing, I don’t want to support their music, knowing the types of people they are, but there is a huge problem: my back tattoo.
About five years ago, at the ripe young age of 14, I got a full back tattoo of Kanye and Jay-Z passionately embracing. They are rendered in beautiful, full-color ink, and they’re making out shirtless. At the time, I thought this was a tasteful way to show my appreciation for two artists whose music I really enjoyed, but with recent events being what they are, it’s been causing me some problems.
Last week, I was at the public pool, about to swim a few laps, but I couldn’t even make it through one without being relentlessly mocked for my tattoo. Some of the poolside patrons laughed at the homoerotic imagery (this has happened ever since I got the tattoo, so I’m used to it), but others booed me and called me “morally reprehensible.” I tried to explain to those nearby that I had gotten the tattoo years ago, and was not at all in support of these artists anymore, but people just threw rock candy at me until I left in tears.
A similar incident recently happened to me on a date: me and the girl I was seeing were in her bedroom, and when I took off my shirt she burst out laughing — she, in fact, continued laughing until I left the room and drove home (where I found that she had left me a 30-minute voicemail, which entirely consisted of her laughter).
I know what you’re thinking — why not simply get the tattoo removed? Or at the very least, maybe cover it up? Well, I don’t know if you’re aware, but it’s actually quite expensive to get a tattoo removed or covered, especially one that takes up your entire back. Not to mention, I spent so much money on the tattoo that it feels like a waste to cover it. Instead, I just keep hoping that Kanye and Jay-Z will somehow get back into the public’s good graces, although that seems to be growing less likely day by day.
The moral of this story, dear reader? If you’re going to get a tattoo of two men going to town on each other’s bodies, make sure that they’re people you can rely on to not wind up being Nazis or child predators. Don’t even get me started on my upper thigh tattoo of Michael Jackson and R. Kelly.
