As an average college student, I want a job. In fact, I need a job so badly that I had someone write me an article about how to get a job, but even that was not enough. I’m running out of time, and summer is approaching quickly. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and desperate measures call for desperate actions. I started off my cover letter with the following:
“My dearest Hiring Manager,
For this letter to reach your gentle hands would be the greatest blessing.”
Starting with well wishes — a classic strategy to set a good pace. I continued:
“When I first heard about the [Job Title] position at [Company Name], a most gracious name, I must admit that my ears perked up, and my heart immediately skipped a beat. From the moment that my eyes met your eloquently written and charming job description, my dear heart was severely agitated at the prospect of what I thought could be.”
I always start by lightly peppering them with compliments, before I get real smooth.
“It is my belief that I may be of service to you with [Company Project]. My whole being thrives in dynamic environments, always seeking to engage, uplift, and innovate any community that I’m a part of. If you’d allow me the pleasure of gracing the hallowed halls of your esteemed company, it would endear me greatly.”
Focus on the idea of “together, better.” Remember, they’re looking for that special someone. So, why not you? Don’t give them the chance to deny your advances. Now, follow my lead.
“I am filled with the utmost delight about the opportunity to contribute to your team and take [Company]’s mission to new heights. Through our affectionate partnership, in which I will promise my soul to you, I can show you how much value, both charm and fun, that I can bring into the workplace.”
And to end it off:
“I anxiously await your response. My heart tears asunder at the thought of our separation. Yet still, if I must, I shall concede to you. If you may permit, my dear, I beg you to spare me some consideration. You may find me at [Phone Number] or [Email Address].
Yours ardently and forever,
[Name]”
Don’t forget to thank me when you get that job!
