It’s been just over a year since my boyfriend, Somes, adopted his Netherlands Dwarf rabbit, Daisy. As an emotional support animal, Daisy spent the first six months of her life in a dorm and was quick to establish that she was the new queen of Somes’ Burton single, making sure to frequently patrol the floor to ensure no intruders slipped in undetected. The day that she learned she could hop from the floor to his chair to his bed was the day she annexed it into her domain.
Daisy weighs in at just under two pounds. Daisy also thinks she is in charge of every person she has ever met. See, in rabbit social etiquette, the act of grooming is a method of showing submission. (Fun fact: This is why cats and rabbits can get along so well. For cats, the cat doing the grooming is establishing dominance, and for rabbits, it’s the reverse. When a cat grooms a rabbit, both parties think they’re in charge.) When Daisy holds court to receive visitors in her room, she is quick to allow them to pet her. “Perfect,” she thinks, “another ape-servant under my command.” Daisy occasionally will lick Somes’ nose to let him know that he is her favorite attendant. Daisy refuses to lick my nose. I am okay with this. I have not yet proven myself worthy of Daisy’s respect.
In May, Daisy moved into a house in the 19th Ward and now has a room to herself. She is dissatisfied that she can’t chew on the walls anymore, but finds the room allows her more space to run around like a lunatic
Daisy is, of course, a multifaceted rabbit. She is an established contractor, overseeing a one-rabbit public works project to construct a tunnel through the stuffing inside the couch. Work has halted temporarily following some sort of radical activist group who have recently sewn a fabric patch which restricts access to the work site. Investigations into the identity of this violent group are ongoing. Daisy is also a renowned explorer and mountain climber. She is the only rabbit to date who has climbed to the top of her kingdom’s couch, and recently laid claim to a new cat tower which appeared in her room in October. Conveniently, this new tower allows her to survey her domain in its entirety.
Last May, diplomacy began between Daisy and the Campus Times, when a group of editors were granted an audience with the rabbit during a visit to the Burton dorm. Last week, relations continued when a different group of Campus Times diplomats visited her new home. Talks are ongoing about Daisy becoming an unofficial Campus Times mascot, yet another title to add to her already impressive record.
Above: Daisy being interviewed by Campus Times Data Editor, Narm Nathan
Here’s the thing: It’s not enough. Daisy has recently realized that many people are still unaware of her reign and has henceforth directed me to introduce her formally to the greater public. Henceforth, consider yourself under the sovereign rule of this two-pound tyrant.
Thank you.
Jarvis (’25 T5) is a staff writer and official media correspondent for the court of honorable Queen Daisy. Please direct all press questions regarding Daisy toward Jarvis.
