1. A Nevada bill that would allow sick pets to use medical marijuana is being introduced in the state legislature.
Said one contemplative pet chicken to another, “Well, we’re gonna be baked anyways.”
2. A man in Pennsylvania attempted rolling in dog waste to avoid arrest.
The plan failed.
3. A new study predicts that the maximum life expectancy for life on Earth is 7.5 billion years.
Or at least until Netflix shuts down.
4. Due to dried-up wells, a man in California has looked into developing his own system in which he just manually fills 3,000 gallon tanks with water from a spout.
Whether or not people like it, he’s going to get the benefit of the spout.
5. A new study suggests that children who lead inactive lives are likely to become middle-aged couch potatoes.
But, sadly for them, not edible ones.
6. Director of Google’s self-driving car project Chris Urmson is ensuring that self-driving cars will be on roads by 2020.
This comes much sooner than Earth’s goal to have self-dependent humans by 2045.
7. Last week, America celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, where millions of Americans, no matter their background, relieve the stress of life by coming together and getting wasted at bars.
Less commonly referred to as “college.”
8. A group of scientists observed deer consuming other deer.
Finally, giving deer a taste of their own venison.
9. A toddler in Pennsylvania was revived in a near-drowning experience after an hour and forty-one minutes of CPR.
After 100 minutes of intense stress, doctors and the toddler were finally able to stop holding their breath.
10. During the SXSW festival in Austin, Texas, “Ex Machina” movie marketers created a fake, robot Tinder profile with the name of a woman named Ava, causing many users to swipe right.
“I guess I got suspicious when she told me that her celebrity crush was the Iron Man costume, not Robert Downey Jr.,” said one user.
Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.
