It was pretty shocking the other day when I read the news and saw that Putin probably killed an ex-Russian-turned-U.K.-citizen special agent. I mean, I kind-of pegged him as the type of man who would retaliate when some poor bastard crossed Mother Russia, but who could’ve seen him as a murderer? He seemed more like an unfriendly neighbor who’d get in arguments about whether a lawn mower (or Crimea) was his. Nonetheless, if the British judge was correct, he’s a murderer.

Moving forward, the United Kingdom must be in a real awkward position. This has to be like confronting the playground bully about taking a single one of your chicken nuggets at lunch, when,  in reality, there wasn’t really anything stopping him or her from taking another. Out of curiosity, I Googled whether Russia will extradite. An answer was hard to come by, but I am pretty certain about how to avoid extradition to the U.S. if anyone’s previous crimes on trying to obtain free Douglass catch up to them. Either way, I feel like Putin will change the law if they try. They really should tread lightly, though. What’s stopping Russia from trying to take something from the United Kingdom rather than from Ukraine? Just kidding—the U.K. is in Western Europe, and I am sure the U.S. would respond to that.

Before any actions are taken, I think it also has to be noted that the killing occurred using a poisoned tea bag. This has to be seen as an act of hatred by Putin. First off, he killed a U.K. citizen. I mean, this probably can be easily excused. But then again, he did it using a tea bag. The only way I’d be more upset if I were part of the royal family would be if he used a scone, or some other food that the rest of the world doesn’t really enjoy because we found better alternatives (like muffins). This case is perfect for the person Sherlock Holmes is based off of—if he were still alive.



Putin probably ordered hit on Litvinenko, surprisingly

As is tradition for the University of Rochester Campus Times, I’m going to take advantage of this Spring’s first print edition to introduce myself and to update all of you on our goals for this coming semester. Read More

Putin probably ordered hit on Litvinenko, surprisingly

URochester Evolutionary Biologist Dr. Justin Fay conducted an investigation into how yeasts tolerate higher temperatures due to global warming in fall of 2025. The Fay Lab is a culmination of undergraduate and graduate students comparing the genomes of two different species of yeasts in the genus Saccharomyces — S. cerevisiae and S. uvarum. Saccharomyces is known […]

Putin probably ordered hit on Litvinenko, surprisingly

The Rochester Yellowjackets took on the Ithaca College Bombers Swim and Dive team Saturday, Jan. 24. The Yellowjackets had their senior night on Saturday as well, celebrating five men and eight women’s careers with the team. Continuing the celebratory spirit, the women’s team went home very happy with a 165-133 win, although the men’s team […]