When you think of a threesome, what pops into mind? I know a lot of us have seen the plethora of porn where two heterosexual women with long nails lick each other’s tongues before they both go down on and then have intercourse with a very willing, slightly unattractive man with a big dick. When I hear about someone having a threesome, this isn’t exactly the image that pops into my mind, but I do usually imagine a two-girls-and-a-guy sexual encounter.

Now, this is a very common fantasy, particularly for the college-male set. If you ever have a conversation of any length about sex with a roomful of horny 18- to 22-year-old men, you’ll probably hear about threesomes. I can understand the allure. If one tongue, one mouth, one set of girly parts is sexy, two has got to be even better.

I’d like, though, to expand the definition of a threesome a little. We can’t forget about the other possible incarnations. What about a threesome between three women? Three men? Two guys and a girl? I personally thought it was really hot when those pretty boys made out in “Brokeback Mountain.” I wouldn’t mind seeing it in person.

Now, I know many of you may not think it’s so hot and heavy to watch or be one of two guys together. That’s all well and good. We must, however, acknowledge that the threesome is a concept with infinite possibilities and complications. No matter what your gender or orientation, there are a few things that are important to figure out before you decide to jump headlong into multiple-partnered love.

The first is possibly the most obvious. Are you comfortable with the idea of a threesome? Does the idea of being with more than one person at once turn you on or make you want to hide in a corner with your legs firmly crossed and with a glare on your face? If you don’t like the idea of a threesome, don’t have one.

I know that there can be a lot of pressure to try new things and, if your lover wants to have a threesome, it can be hard to turn him or her down. If you’re not both enjoying yourselves, though, it’s not going to turn out well. One or the other of you will probably get jealous, someone will be left out and it could change your relationship irrevocably. It’s important to make sure that everyone who will be involved wants to be there.

That said, threesomes can be really fun. If everyone is into it, if all three people are turned on and enjoying each other, it can be a great time. If you do find that you want to have a threesome and you have two willing partners, go for it.

Before you get into bed, set down a few guidelines for how the threesome will go. If you know you want to have oral sex with both people but you wouldn’t be comfortable with intercourse, say so. If you and a lover are sleeping with a new person and you don’t want your significant other to kiss the other person while they’re having sex, make sure they both know that. If there’s anything any of you can do to make each other more comfortable – and turned on – make sure it’s out in the open before the playing starts. It’ll be easier to have a good time if you know that what you’re doing won’t offend anyone.

Realize going into it that sex changes relationships. Whether you’re initially comfortable with the idea or not, a threesome will change the relationship you have with both of the other participants. If you’re friends or lovers with either of them, that’s something you’ll want to take into account before you jump in. It’s important to choose your partners carefully and go into the situation with an open mind. If you’re ready for anything, any change, you are most likely to have a positive experience.

Most importantly, though, have a good time, be safe and be sure to remember all the juicy details. You’ll have a great story the next time you play Never Have I Ever.

Waddill is a member of the class of 2009.

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