My girlfriend and I have been together for three weeks now and it has already gotten pretty serious. How do I know if this is love or just temporary lust? Is it too soon to use the “L” word?~Bursting in BurtonDear Bursting,As Valentine’s Day closes in, lovers across the world are fretting over those three little words. Most likely, if you have only been dating three weeks you are experiencing lust, not the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. This is not to say that your deeply felt lust cannot meld into a more loving stage. In any relationship it is difficult to assess whether you truly have found love, a term that finds as many forms as people. Don’t distress – love may be around the corner and may very well be present already. It is simply more likely that you are experiencing lust, temporary or transitional. This is a good time to go with your feelings, but also ask yourself some important questions. How well do I know this girl? If I found out a shocking secret of hers, how would I react? How do I feel about her emotionally? These are all important questions while grabbing your ticket for the L-train.As far as using the “L” word, only you can gauge this moment but there are some general guidelines. Chances are if you can’t write it, you shouldn’t use it. Further, using “I love you” should come at a time when you both are comfortable with it, not as a necessary step in the progression of your relationship. The “L” word only carries as much weight as you give it. If you are unsure, give yourself some time. Love will last longer than three weeks. No need to burn out before the fire starts. If this is love, you have plenty of time. Be patient, and wait for the moment. Focus on your relationship, and you may even want to slow it down rather than worrying about the “L” word. Slowing down never sounds like fun, but in the end you may find some great stations on your L-train. Lastly, bursting the “L” word is over-rated, as it is the day to day of your relationship which will make it meaningful.Happy V-Day, Bursting. Best hopes for true love.Got a love and relationship question that’s literally, ummm… burning? Ask the Love Goddess herself, Robyn Tanner, at ctfeats@hotmail.com.



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