Aquarius (Jan. 20?Feb. 18) ? Exercise your latent social consciousness. While No Sweat has gone undercover for a bit, there are tons of things you can protest in the meantime.
Pisces (Feb. 19?March 20) ? Things have been running rough lately. Take some time for yourself to figure out what you need to do to be comfortable in your surroundings.
Aries (March 21?April 19) ? Take your time with relationships and don’t hurry into commitments too soon. Love is one thing, lust is another and sometimes when you’re in between you have to realize that.
Taurus (April 20?May 20) ? You’ve been spiritually hurting lately. Take the time to find your inner child ? he’s cute and spunky, not to mention covered in chocolate. Mmmmm. Chocolate.
Gemini (May 21?June 21) ? Relax. Pop a few Valiums and let things run their course. Don’t completely disengage, but don’t keep your fingers in everything either.
Cancer (June 22?July 22) ? Even though you’re at a low in your cycles of money and love, things are looking up. Nothing stays the same, even this. Look forward to good things coming your way.
Leo (July 23?Aug. 22) ? Start working with people and not against them. It would also be a good time to consider giving away some possessions that you don’t need anymore. Karma building never hurts.
Virgo (Aug. 23?Sept. 22) ? Stop harassing people and everything will get better. Realize that when someone is ready to talk to you, they will. Until then just breathe, kick your feet back and have a glass of wine.
Libra (Sept. 23?Oct. 22) ? Take a trip somewhere. A long drive will do you well and help you to gain perspective on things. Not everything is as it seems ? others aren’t plotting to boil you in lard, but to give you free heart-shaped candies.
Scorpio (Oct. 23?Nov. 21) ? Bake someone some cookies and mail them to their CPU box. That special Taurus in your life deserves them. They love yummy treats.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22?Dec. 21) ? Don’t let Valentine’s Day get you down if you’re single. Find a nice person to spend the evening with, even if only as friends and relish in a bond that can be just as fulfilling as dating.
Capricorn (Dec. 22?Jan. 19) ? Sometimes it seems like the world is out to get you, but it’s really not. Keep your mind on what is important and work to make things happen for you. Everything will work out for the best with a little perseverence.
(If you believe this, you should snort less coke. This is not to be taken seriously.)