Pit n. 1. A hole, shaft, or cavity in the ground 2. An area often sunken or depressed below the adjacent floor area 3. The first floor of Wilson Commons.

Tales From The Pit – noun: The twisted views of one Aaron Livingston on daily life here at UR.

In honor of the housing lotteries, the first of which was last Thursday, we are dedicating our first column to the ins and outs of living on campus.

For anyone who plans on living on campus, the first step is getting a room, and due to freshman housing, ResLife has come up with some creative solutions for cramming us all onto campus next year.

For those of you who participated in the suite drawing last week, you may have noticed there were significantly less suites available than there were last year.

This is because the office has decided to reserve some of the six-person suites in Towers for the singles and doubles drawing.

So, let?s separate people who want to live together, and put people together who want to live separately.

Sounds like a good idea. Then again, ?Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?? sounded like a good idea to the Fox executives.

In another well-thought-out plan, Wilder Tower is being renovated to accommodate the incoming Greek groups that are being kicked off the Residential Quad.

The university plans to create a common area where the center doubles currently are, and to turn the existing suite lounges into doubles. So let?s get this straight ? they want to turn the doubles into lounges and the lounges into doubles?

Last time we checked, tearing down and putting up concrete walls isn?t cheap. It?s no surprise this school went over budget.

Not only are the Greeks taking up available rooms, but special interest housing groups also get priority housing over the rest of the student body, forcing juniors into less desirable locations.

Personally, we wouldn?t want to be forced out to the Graduate Living Center, so we?ve devised a way to beat the system.

We?ve created a new special interest housing group that we?re calling the Living Center Interest Floor.

This floor is for students who are simply interested in living with other students.

We are really excited that this floor will now be mentioned in the same breath as CIF, MIF, ILC, TLC, BET, MTV, and VH1.

We will be on the floor between TLC ? Transfer Living Center ? and BET ? Black Entertainment Television, and will also be broadcast on channel 38 of ResTV.

So if you?re sick of GLC, and you want your own clique, and you need a room quick, well, you have a new pick ? choose the LCIF.

To compensate for the vast distance between GLC and the rest of campus, the university offers a free cable package to any student who chooses to live in GLC.

This cable package contains a full array of channels, including RIT?s cable channel, but doesn?t include UR?s own channel 18. We think this is because GLC is closer to RIT than it is to the rest of this campus.

As with any other dorm on campus, GLC rooms are equipped with ResNet Ethernet jacks, conveniently located directly next to the bathroom.

This requires you to run a tripwire across the kitchen to both of the bedrooms ? however, it is perfect if you ever want to surf the net on the crapper.

What do you think of our column? Send any questions, comments, hate mail and LCIF applications to: aaronliving1@hotmail.com.

Aaron Livingston represents the views of sophomores Gregg Chesney, Joseph Berlino, and David Vigneaux. He is not to be confused with someone who cares.

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