Humor

Message to the UR community on recent controversy

In the spirit of supporting our students and retaining a happy campus, we have decided to create an environment of blissful ignorance.

Quad Skunk fills void left by Quad Fox?

Administration has decided to adopt Quad Skunk as an official unofficial mascot, T-shirts will be sold at the bookstore for the low, low price of $100.

UR to finish first place in fort competition

The skeleton of the award-winning fort is visible in Hirst, formally known as the Flag Lounge, now known as the Fort Lounge.

Anti-racist DPS policy to include blindfolds

DPS plans to have all officers wear blindfolds or horse blinders when driving because, “if we can’t see their face, we can’t tell their race.” 

Goddamn yellowjackets everywhere

From the Humor Section: According to many sources on the University’s historic River Campus, there are yellowjackets absolutely all over the goddamn place.

How the highway to hell has changed for COVID

Even though I’m in Hell this semester, and not lurking in the tunnels, don’t despair! I’ll be holding Zoom sessions for you to get taken care of.

Help! I can’t get rid of my quarantine body

People keep telling me to “get rid of my quarantine body,” and there’s only one explanation: I’ve been found out.

Supreme to sponsor new Optics Laser

The Supreme x UR Optics collab, the Yellowjacket-Machina Laser, drops Dec.r 21. According to University President Sarah Mangelsdorf, this has…

Disappointment at disappearance of dorm room galleries

“I’ve been having people over at the house. I know we’re not supposed to, but I think the rule breaking just contributes to the artistry of my decor."

Freshman Cooking Basics: Ramen

If you’re not willing to compromise in the carcinogen category, I’d opt for Maggi noodles, which contain 25% more lead and MSG than Maruchan ramen noodles.