Humor

New cafe to open in former Hotel Cadillac

Rochesterians will be either excited or exhausted to learn that yet another coffee establishment is making its way to downtown. The new caf e, owned communally but operated by local coffee-loving entrepreneur Astrid Fitzgerald, 31, will open later this month at 45 Chestnut St. in what used to be the iconic Hotel Cadillac. Although the […]

Dear Chris: Help!

Dear Chris: There’s a really pretty girl, but she’s a freshman, and I’m a second semester senior. -Thanks, Romantic Chris: I think what you need is a little more time. Try walking underneath the clock tower. I’m sure if you come off as a nice guy she’ll give you a chance. Go ahead and ask […]

Taking the plunge

Recently, I made the wise decision to sign up for the annual Polar Plunge, in which participants take a dip in Lake Ontario’s frigid winter waters. Fairly straightforward, right? Wrong. I had a few expectations prior to signing up for this event. I thought that we would be able to witness polar bears dive into […]

Plowing forward: A new UR perspective on a classic complaint

The University of Rochester is no stranger to bad weather. Year after year, it has tried to deal with everyday snowstorms by using pounds of salt and large snow plows. Yet, despite all of the school’s efforts, many students are still frequently injured by patches of ice and blinding snow. The 2011 storm was so […]

A few UR advertisement ideas

Marketing is important, and I see a couple of opportunities for the University to create some entertaining advertisements. In one such advertisement, a bunch of the school’s important figures are in a meeting, but the meeting is delayed because the school’s mascot is missing from the table. The commercial then turns to Rocky the Yellowjacket […]

Poking fun at the news

1. A 94-year-old male driver blasted through a car wash at 40 miles an hour. Police find these occurrences difficult to investigate because most offenders get away cleanly.  2. A Michigan man jumped in an ice fishing hole to retrieve his cell phone.  He was surpsised to find that his stupid screen had frozen. 3. […]

A rewarding haiku

There is a treasure. I could tell you where it is, but haikus are short. Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.

Diner, Drive-ins and Dives: UR Edition

Fieri: Hey everyone, I’m Guy Fieri and we’re rolling out looking for America’s greatest diners, drive-ins and dives. Today we’re in one of America’s most beautiful cities—Rochester, New York! It is home to the groovin’ University of Rochester, freezing weather, one of the highest murder rates in the country, and of course, delicious food! Radical! […]

A freshman’s guide to Saturday nights

It is Saturday night once again, and the more reserved of you college students who stayed in to watch a movie and read Cosmo magazines on Friday night are most likely sitting around your freshman hall’s lounge in anticipation of a socially appropriate hour to leave for the fraternity parties (I refrain from the colloquial […]