Humor
Humor
A few UR advertisement ideas
Marketing is important, and I see a couple of opportunities for the University to create some entertaining advertisements. In one such advertisement, a bunch of the school’s important figures are in a meeting, but the meeting is delayed because the school’s mascot is missing from the table. The commercial then turns to Rocky the Yellowjacket […]
Humor
Poking fun at the news
1. A 94-year-old male driver blasted through a car wash at 40 miles an hour. Police find these occurrences difficult to investigate because most offenders get away cleanly. 2. A Michigan man jumped in an ice fishing hole to retrieve his cell phone. He was surpsised to find that his stupid screen had frozen. 3. […]
Humor
A rewarding haiku
There is a treasure. I could tell you where it is, but haikus are short. Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.
Humor
Diner, Drive-ins and Dives: UR Edition
Fieri: Hey everyone, I’m Guy Fieri and we’re rolling out looking for America’s greatest diners, drive-ins and dives. Today we’re in one of America’s most beautiful cities—Rochester, New York! It is home to the groovin’ University of Rochester, freezing weather, one of the highest murder rates in the country, and of course, delicious food! Radical! […]
Humor
A freshman’s guide to Saturday nights
It is Saturday night once again, and the more reserved of you college students who stayed in to watch a movie and read Cosmo magazines on Friday night are most likely sitting around your freshman hall’s lounge in anticipation of a socially appropriate hour to leave for the fraternity parties (I refrain from the colloquial […]
Humor
Seligman announces new UR motto: Screwing you to your face
This past Monday, the University of Rochester announced that it was officially changing the school’s motto from “Meliora,” which translates into “Ever Better,” to the more blunt and eyebrow-raising “SCREWING YOU TO YOUR FACE” (sic). While at first glance some may view the new slogan as less artsy-fartsy than its predecessor, others tend to argue […]
Humor
Self-driving cars suck
What’s the deal with these autonomous cars, self-driving cars for the layman? When I first heard about these self-driving cars, my first reaction was one of shock, horror, and “Gosh, this is stupid.” Sure, it’s pretty neat that car manufacturers are endorsing innovation through technological advancements, but it seems to me that self-driving cars are […]
Humor
A pain in the glass
I’ve made a grave error. During Winter Break, I went for an annual eye checkup and was given the option to pick out new glasses. I decided on a spiffy-looking pair of Ray-Bans. Fair enough, right? Well, the next question the lady asked me threw me for a loop. She suggested that instead of the […]
Horgan
Poking fun at the news
1. A new study finds that a burger for lunch reduces 30 minutes a day off your life. Confirming that fast food puts the “eat” in death. 2. Researchers have discovered a drug that could assist mice immune systems in finding and destroying HIV infected cells. Will they find it? I’d say so, it’s in […]
