Fabian Halblander
Fabian Halblander
Class of 2023

Articles by Fabian

Why you shouldn’t roast STEM majors (although you know you want to)

I was raised around ableist jokes. I went to high school with them (I bet you did, too). But mediocre jokes point to ignorance, and often, complicity. Read More

Browser hijacker… set me free

Sometimes I think maybe I should feel more threatened by whatever hawkish algorithm has its claws in my beloved Google Chrome. But this algorithm is less like a hawk and more like a pigeon — it really does not have the killer instinct that you’d expect of a newfangled browser-hijacker in the year of our Meliora 2021.  Read More

New new dining alternative proposed by Dining Services

“Give a yellowjacket a burrito bowl and you feed them for a day; teach a yellowjacket to fish, and you feed them for an entire business quarter." Read More

Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!

We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not  a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run. Read More

Working at the Moorings

It’s all very even-keel, obvious, often boring. But after a semester in the throes of college life at UR, in the type-A frenzy chamber, I savor that kind of boredom. Read More

Exclusive interview with a UR dropout turned influencer

From the Humor section: It’s plain to see that monetizing your hotness, or “influencing,” is now a viable and maybe even preferential career option. Read More

The major flaws with each major in STEM

I felt safe writing this article, mostly because I am operating under the assumption that only a small fraction of STEM majors can actually read anything other than scatter plots and Python. Read More

How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me

You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn. Read More

The real reason students returned to campus: The results will shock you

87% of on-campus respondents cite access to school WiFi, and with it, freedom from Duo authentication, as the most exciting part of on-campus life. Read More

Campus by torchlight

Sophomore Chadwick Barnes had just the idea: He and his boys, out on the quad, pounding brewskis and tossing dice. Read More