Humor
Hotline Rochester: Redux
I was at my apartment, lying on my couch with images of the rooster and the biker still in my head. “Sussudio,” by Phil Collins was playing in the background to help clear my mind. His solo career was more commercial and more satisfying to me, but in a narrower way. My phone started ringing […]
Humor
Joel Seligman: A candid encounter
I saw Joel Seligman at the CVS on Mt. Hope Avenue yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. “Oh, like you’re doing now?” he asked me. I was taken aback, and […]
Humor
Ang Lee probes bestiality in ‘Life of Pi’ sequel
Director Ang Lee has decided to return to “Life of Pi” after its massive box-office success in 2012. The sequel, Lee shared, will start off where the previous movie left off. “Pi returns to the island where the tiger Richard Parker left him,” Lee said. “Once Pi finds him, he develops a new complex love […]
Humor
Hotline Rochester: A prelude
Relatively late Monday night, a number of my droogs and I went to the presidential mansion. We were searching for something greater than ourselves, greater than everything and everyone. We were in search of Joel. There were mind-altering agents. The first inclination that something was going awry was the giant walrus that leaped out one […]
Humor
Seligman releases ‘The Joel Seligman LP’ to critical acclaim
On Tuesday, UR President Joel Seligman released his new album, “The Joel Seligman LP,” under the moniker Joel. The first song to leak was titled J.O.L.O. (Joel Only Lives Once.) The album chronicles Seligman’s rise and fall from grace. Controversial UR Economics professor Steven Landsburg is co-producing the LP with Dr. Dre. When pressed for […]
Humor
Bullocks lacks buttocks in ‘Gravity’
Sci-fi thriller “Gravity” has received unanimously positive reviews, yet I was surprised that some of the film’s scientific inaccuracies were not addressed. These are the most glaring. When Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (George Clooney) return to the damaged space shuttle, they find an astronaut with a cracked helmet and a hole in […]
Humor
‘GTA VI’ to be based on Rochester, says Rockstar
Rockstar Games released “Grand Theft Auto V” on Sept. 17, selling over one billion copies in two days, making it the fastest selling entertainment product in history. Building on its success, Rockstar has already announced that the series’ next installment will be based on Rochester, N.Y. Each “GTA” title is set in a fictional American […]
Humor
UR offers new ‘Breaking Bad’ course
One of the most controversial courses offered at UR this semester is “Symbolic Analysis of ‘Breaking Bad,’” taught by the English department. Enrolled students thought they would be analyzing themes and objects that actually had to do with the plot, but on the first day of class, they instead talked about why the ketchup and […]
