To Whom It May Concern,
With a not-so-heavy heart, I am writing this letter to inform my reader (if there is one) of my resignation from the position of sports editor. Throughout my illustrious career as sports editor, I have interviewed players and coaches, reviewed box scores, sent out budget emails that no one reads, and probably watched one or two UR sporting events.
The memories we created in the CT office will stick with me for the rest of my life. Chief among them has been the weekly four hours I spent procrastinating while avoiding the work I voluntarily signed up to do. My favorite methods of procrastination include checking my phone, checking my computer, and blankly staring into space towards the closest wall (there are no windows in the CT dungeon).
Moreover, I want to thank everyone at CT for expecting the absolute bare minimum from me and keeping their disappointment to themselves when I manage to do even less than that most weeks. I suspect that is because they cannot find anyone willing to take over my job.
With that said, I have no human successor to introduce because I, like actual sports journalists, am being replaced by AI.
With love,
Aeneas Wolf
Former Sports Editor for the Campus Times
Current(ly) staring off into space for the foreseeable future
