One of the most crucial elements of college living is to experience every aspect of it in excess. Whether it’s food, drink, studies, certain people, or certain seasons (nobody is looking forward to you, winter) we at UR know how to maximize our intake past the line of what is “healthy” or “sane.” Chief among these endeavors is binging, which is. Defined as partaking in an activity past the normal amount (Urban Dictionary clarified that it must exceed one day).
Our main vessel for this “binge-worthy lifestyle” is, of course, Netflix. We all know it’s true. The cursed streaming service burns through more of our time, money and ambition than any other addiction we could possibly pick up in our years here. I myself probably couldn’t name more than 15 past presidents of the U.S. but could name the cast of “New Girl” in my sleep…What about “The Office?” Child’s play.
I spoke to an anonymous junior and longtime Netflix addict about his own binging. “It was terrible,” he said, “I had no discipline, it ate up all my time and I started gaining a lot of weight.” When asked what his favorite shows to lose sleep over were, he guiltily admitted, “‘Friends,’ ‘Blue Mountain State,’ and ‘New Girl’ because I identify with the lazy and unmotivated characters like Nick Miller.” The junior was not the only one with a guilty pleasure as embarrassing as “New Girl.”
Sophomore and binging maniac David Z. admitted, “I don’t know how I lived so long without Netflix. It fills all the cracks in my heart.” David went on to describe his favorite form of release: “Luther” starring Idris Elba. “It’s so awesome. I just want to be everyone on that show. I want to do everyone a favor and tell them to stop studying and exercising, crack open their laptops, and watch ‘Luther’!” David said. He also added that “Alice is smart and hot.” Thanks for that insight, sir. I know we’ll all figure out our true priorities and fall in love with this new fad and then finish it in under a week.
Mistler-Ferguson is a member of the class of 2018.
