So often all we hear about Prince Charming is that he saves a princess and then lives with her happily ever after. Has anyone noticed one terribly disturbing factor about Prince Charming ? he sleeps with royalty in at least a half a dozen stories.
Do you think that there are multiple Prince Charmings? No ? there is just one and he sleeps around. He is no better than a common whore who just happens to charge in rescues instead of rubbles.
I have fallen prey to the wonderful charming eyes and the magical kiss of this snake. Unfortunately, as soon as we rode off into the sunset he made me sign a pre-nuptual saying that I would be responsible for the kingdom after he left.
It would not be quite so bad if I was not made to bear his bratty children, until he had two males heirs. Do you realize what that does to a woman’s hips? There is no way I can find another prince after five pregnancies. Even with the state-paid-for liposuction, it just isn’t the same.
And while I was at home caring for the little rugrats who will someday try to kill me to take my throne (they take after their father) where do you think Prince Charming was? He had moved on to the next kingdom, where he managed to get himself adopted as a prince there.
Off he went after another princess with one goal in mind ? sowing his oats. He is procreating left and right throughout the Fairy Tale world. In his path he has left countless princesses who aren’t receiving alimony.
Cinderella, Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty are only a few of the more famous victims of prince abuse. There are actually many more people who have had to suffer the horrors of having an ungrateful husband.
Together with Cindy, we have formed the Association for the Prevention of Abuse by Princes. The goal of APAP is to stop the womanizing bastard from causing anymore princesses from having to go on the mother-in-law welfare program.
We have all been forced to pine away our youthful beauty locked up in castles waiting for Prince Charming and his Mr. Winkie to come home. Our mother-in-laws have been forced to provide for us emotionally, as well as financially while we try to balance issues of state with raising his little shit children.
No more. We are going to come out of our cloisters and hunt him down. It is time to take the tactics of so many angry peasants and form a mob. APAP is calling for support from all princesses who have been abused and all who believe this type of treatment is wrong.
Together we can take up pitch-forks, torches and rusty spoons to track the motherfucker down. And when we find him ? there will be no mercy.
We’re coming for you Charming, so you and your balls better be ready for a quick separation.
Don’t even try to contact me, I have a restraining order.
