Hello Coloring Times,
How are you? In the few months that we have been senior staff, we have decided something: Give us our positions back. Full time. Salaried. $103.82k a year minimum plus benefits (each — we might always be in the same place at the same time, but we are in fact two different people with one collective brain cell). I mean, hey, we’re graduating. Now we can commit the usual 20–30+ hours a week (again, each — remember, two different people) to the position, and an added bonus is now neither of us will be a full-time student and employed at the same time! No more of this “I actually have to earn a degree bullshit.” CT is love. CT is life (again).
Application for Coloring Times Opinions Section
Our most relevant collective qualifications include having held the Opinions Editor position along with other positions in the CT before, in addition to being unintentionally funny AND people-pleasers to our own detriment (which is so maladaptive but it’s fine. We’re FINE. Everything is so perfect). These make up pretty much the perfect combo for the Opinions section.
And hey, if you’ve met us, the collective we, are the PERFECT duo for the job. We might not be able to make decisions about where to eat or where to go (decisions are hard ok) but we can guarantee that together, we’ll be able to make decisions on edits and throw in a complimentary self-deprecating explanation of our decision-making process in which we downplay our (separate) intelligence. We can turn our every waking moment into budget items. Lastly, we survived (were victimized by) the Opinions section and have the wisdom (and pizzazz) to make the CT great again.
Please have a formal offer letter in our respective inboxes ASAP!
Best wishes,
E. Nanik and Shren Y.
Your favorite former Opinions Editors (at different times)
This message is endorsed by current Opinions Editor (in Exile) Frankie Brereton.
