Strong Memorial Hospital reported a sudden dip in their candy supply Oct. 31. The candy was specifically reserved for their newborn babies. 

The reason listed on the hospital’s official incident report was a robbery committed the day before. The robbers were in and out of the hospital with the candy in less than 24 hours. It is reported that an approximate $102 million worth of candy was taken from the newborns.

Officials have yet to confirm how the robbery was performed in such a high-security hospital. 

Currently, officials suspect that the robbers took the candy using a stolen utility ladder and glass-breaking power tools to enter through the back window.

The robbery was discovered when nurses reported hearing a fight breaking out in the infant wing. However, when they arrived, they only saw babies standing in their cribs with no candy. 

“This is a devastating blow to the morale of our community, and whoever committed such crimes should return the candies at once,” Chief Investigator Cat Crawford said.

No new leads have been discovered. Still, more than 100 investigators are working around the clock to track down the culprits of the grand larceny



Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital

“Afterglow” was meant to be a deluxe version of the original “EUSEXUA,” but instead took on a life of its own, running away into a drug-fuelled night filled with grimy DJs and hallucinations from one too many bumps. Read More

Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital

Op-eds matter when they are honest about their limitations and point to evidence, rather than replace it. Read More

Candy stolen from babies at Strong Memorial Hospital

“Dirty Laundry” highlights what artists choose to carry with them. Family histories, discarded objects, ecosystems in miniature, political trauma, private acts of care and the fleeting details of daily life all appear in forms that are at once personal and universal. Read More