’Twas a long night in Gleason, when all through the room

Not a person was stirring, a silence of gloom;

A plate of cookies was laid before me with care,

In hopes that a friend of mine soon would be there;

 

The cookies were nestled all snug on the plate,

For students who planned to be studying late;

And late though I studied, in my hand was a frappe,

I found my eyes heavy, just awoken from my nap;

 

When in Gleason I put my hand on the platter,

and a cookie I took, splitting it with a clatter;

And up to my mouth it arose in a flash,

I crunched on the cookie in a rather quick gnash;

 

But soft! Suddenly the lights twinkled like snow,

Their rays cast down on the carpet below;

The world seemed to spin and before me appeared,

A whole bunch of gnomes, one sporting a beard;

 

The jolly gnome spoke, he called out to me,

His voice cried out in a fit of such glee;

“Sir, now get up. Come quick to the wall!

“You ate these here cookies?? You finished them all??”

 

“Yes,” I said, “I ate the plate too.

“Don’t worry, I always remember to chew!”

The gnome looked at me in a flash of great fright,

“Do not let this man get out of my sight.”

 

They bound my hands with a magical cuff,

And threw me down to the carpet so rough;

For eating some cookies, I would be arrested.

But against their brutish ways, I plainly protested.

 

With a boom and a crackle, I alit in a pop

Laughing and cackling, I fled with no stop;

As I sprang away from Gleason and blinked out of sight,

I gave them a wink and shouted MERRY GLEASON TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!

 



‘Twas a long night in Gleason

We teach the Dust Bowl as a cautionary tale. In every American history class, we learn how farmers in the 1920s and 1930s tore up millions of acres of native grassland across the Great Plains to plant wheat, how the deep-rooted prairie grasses that held the soil and trapped moisture were replaced by shallow crops and bare fields, and, when drought came in 1930, how the exposed topsoil turned to dust. Read More

‘Twas a long night in Gleason

Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you? Read More