It’s Feb. 9, the day we’ve had marked on our calendars for months. Everyone’s running home from the grocery store with bags overflowing with snacks, drinks, and barbecue equipment. Tensions arise as fans cheer for either Kansas City or Philadelphia — while a different type of fan keeps their eyes peeled for a certain Kansas City tight end’s mega-star significant other.
Guess what, folks? We’ve been celebrating the Super Bowl all wrong. Be sure to hold onto your snacks (especially those served in bowls), because here is the literal truth on how to celebrate the Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl was actually a 24-hour-long celebration of foods served in humanity’s greatest invention known as the bowl. To celebrate, everyone should wake up eating their favorite cereals — and bring on the sugary kind while you’re at it, no matter what your endocrinologist might say.
The greatest highlight of the day is holding massive bowl-themed celebrations. Attendants are required to wear bowler hats and bowl-o ties and eat all kinds of food served in bowls. It’s customary to eat dishes beyond the regular bowl of soup, chili, or ice cream in a bowl to honor its legacy. It’s about time we take advantage of this annual celebration. Serve everything in a bowl from tacos and sushi to smoothies and even sandwiches! Anything goes! If you can eat (or drink) it with pleasure, then put it in a bowl!
Make sure to truly know the meaning of the Super Bowl from this day forth and stock up on all kinds of bowl-friendly foods and eat to your stomach’s desire. If not, go ahead and watch people playing around with a football or whatever — even though your distraction might compromise the efficiency of you feasting on your favorite dishes in the world’s greatest dish.
