By Howard Schultz

The University has announced that it will reintroduce a fourth meal plan option in the fall of 2024 in response to student concerns about having too many declining dollars at the end of the year. 

The plan will cost $2,893 per semester — the same as Option C — but will have no swipes, $0 of declining to spend, and $2,000 of URos, which can only be used to purchase seasonal Starbucks tumblers. Option D will replace Option C as the default plan for students on financial aid.

According to the Dean of Student Enrollment and Director of Financial Aid Mark Ruffalo, this decision follows the University’s attempt to better meet student needs and allow for more flexibility in students’ dining options. 

“There’s just not enough food insecurity on this campus anymore,” Ruffalo said. “We are also hoping to discourage students from stealing from Starbucks.” 

“On the other hand, we have been facing a real problem with a surplus of eggs at Hillside. The goal is to encourage more students to steal from Hillside. Please steal more eggs, specifically.”

Students receiving financial aid who qualify will have the whole cost of Option D covered, while students with lower financial need may have to pay a portion of it, and students who aren’t on financial aid will have to pay in full unless their parents are important.

Students with meal plan questions are encouraged to jump in the river.

Schultz is a union-buster.

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