Oh, boy. It’s a cappella season again.

For the uninitiated — if you’ve somehow evaded the singing and snapping of our Pitch Perfect-esque students on campus — five of our a cappella groups will be holding concerts over the next couple of weeks to showcase the songs they’ve learned over the course of this semester. The YellowJackets had theirs Saturday night, complete with twerking, Santa hats, onstage smooches, and, on occasion, some singing. This is somewhat par for the course. So, for the next couple of weeks, here’s a guide you can use to best navigate UR a cappella concerts, from yours truly, an a cappella corporate shill.

  1. Show up buzzed.

Unless you’re a freak like me who actively listens to collegiate a cappella sober seven days a week, pregame the show. The majority of the a cappella-related attendees will be slightly buzzed, so the further you are from the epicenter of the a cappella shockwave, the drunker you should be.

       2. Get your tickets ahead of time.

Unless you want to stand in a line to get your tickets printed (or to buy them), order your tickets online for pickup at the Common Market or buy them there in person. If you’re a family member or a friend making the trek from off campus to hear those sweet pipes, have your on-campus liaison get you a physical ticket so you don’t have to wait in line.

       3. Beware (or be aware, I suppose) of the a cappella section.

When you’re choosing where to sit, there are a couple different sections that you can go for: the left, often reserved for a shockingly-large cohort of frat boys, the middle, which will be propagated with parents and friends, or the right, which is home to the a cappella section. No matter where you sit, beware the a cappella section. They are loud and unapologetic, and I am ashamedly one of them (but not as ashamed as I should be). They will holler, they will moan, and they will cry. This is not relegated to solely during the show — they will also loudly gossip during intermission and after the show. Tip #1 may help mitigate your frustration levels if you aren’t a fan of people getting overly hyped about making mouth sounds.

       4. Prep for the end-of-show congratulations barrage.

The second the show ends and the house lights come up, the front of the seating area will be flooded with people attempting to congratulate their friends-slash-children-slash-love-interests-ooh-la-la on their singing. If you get claustrophobic easily, just leave (or text the people you want to congratulate your location, and get ready to wait). It’ll take awhile for the performers to get through the sea of a cappella groupies.

      5. Get belligerently drunk after.

We drink to forget (juuuuust enough to want to attend the next show).

Tagged: A Cappella help

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