Someone at the Rochester Easter egg hunt swapped the normal easter eggs with real eggs, and the man to blame is event organizer Mr. Tom. To get the full picture, we have to go back to the start, before it went frittata control. I don’t want to be pudding words in Mr. Tom’s mouth, so we actually have a quote from him.

“The plan was simple. All we needed to do was go to the supermarket, get some fake eggs, hide them, and the event would be over…easy,” Tom said. “The problem was that we sent our interns. These guys weren’t the brightest; they were the people you call when you need to poul trees out of the ground, but we decided to let them have a crack at it. The store was out of fake Easter eggs, the interns didn’t realize the difference. They appoached our art team with the incorrect eggs, and the artists painted them anyway. The mistake went unnoticed until a student spiked their egg on the sidewalk and it splattered everywhere.”

“We thought that there was fowl play involved; maybe a student had hidden real eggs amidst ours. The Rochester community is known for its practical yolks. We eventually figured out that the eggs were ours, thanks to one chick in the art team’s unique art style. We then had a choice: Do we call the event off or whisk it and hope none of the students notice? On one hand, the students have been cooped up in their dorms for weeks, and it would be nice to give them a bit of fun.”

“On the other hand, Rochester students are smart; you have to have a pretty big noggin to get here. Then comes my mistake: I decided to keep the event going, giving the students free range.”

Needless to say, once the students found out about the mishap, there were dozens of problems.

The swap had some students shellshocked. Others were hatching all sorts of nefarious plots.

The students came up with an egg toss game, where one student would throw an egg to their partner, who would hatch it. Of course, some students tried to beat the system and be their own partners. Students fried and fried, but no pair of partners could get it just white and beat the self-partner strategy. After students realized that being your own partner was too good, they deviled the playing fields and let everyone be their own partner.

One student crowned himself king of the eggs, demanded to be called “Benedict Cumberhatch,”and covered himself in egg. Only after a shower did he realize his mistake: His skin is now all boiled over.

Eventually, Tom decided un oeuf was enough, and shut it all down.

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Editor’s Note (5/4/24): This article is no longer being updated. For our most up to date coverage, look for articles…