Right now, a bunch of seniors are preparing to graduate, and they are probably asking themselves, “Where did the time go?” This is a good question. A question they probably aren’t asking is, “Hey, I wonder if Chris has any advice for the real world?” Well, if you didn’t ask that question, then I have some advice for you; be careful when assuming that all advice is good advice.
1. The best things in life are free.
The best things in life are free. They also say that college includes some of the best days of your life. But, college isn’t free ,so whomever said that the best things in life are free was wrong. I think I could come up with an entire list of things in life that are free that absolutely no one wants. Infectious diseases are free, and no one ever says those are the best things in life. Jury duty? Old age? I’d like to correct this statement to something like this; some of the best things in life are free.
2. Work hard and your dreams will come true.
I’ve had some pretty wacky dreams, and this makes me wonder, does this mean that if I work lazy my nightmares will come true instead? I think the last thing I’d want would want to come true would be the nightmare in which I get stuck behind five people trying to buy tickets from the Common Market.
3. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
This quote, I believe, is more of a financial warning if anything else. Don’t go spending your money on extravagant and ridiculous items. Why would any senseless person buy a dam and then consider giving it away?
4. Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
But they do keep them alive.
5. The pen is mightier than the sword.
I don’t know how much I believe in this one. I can only imagine Mel Gibson giving a moving speech to his Scottish underdogs before commanding everyone to drop their swords and take out their favorite colored Bics.
6. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
This is definitely true. It means that people like Lance Armstrong, Alex Rodriguez or pretty much any athlete to ever use performance enhancing drugs really, really loves us.
7. Actions speak louder than words.
So, if you ever see someone about to walk over a cliff with their back turned to you, don’t scream at them; try to wave them down.
8. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
So, if you plan on becoming a Buffalo Sabres fan, this means being a fan of every other team in the NHL.
9. No man is an island.
This one is a real statement of the obvious, but I figure I put it in here just in case you ever confuse a man with being an island.
10. Better to be poor and honest, than to be rich and dishonest.
So, essentially, it’s honestly best to be rich.
11. Time is money.
Time is not money, because I ran out of declining with about two weeks left in the semester.
Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.
