Trying to get work done on a Sunday is as pointless as having the Doctor regenerate into a baby. The TARDIS would require a total makeover, and every character would have to attach themselves to booster seats before traveling through time. But who knows, maybe by the end of the baby’s tenure as the Doctor, everyone would be saying, “booster seats are cool.” Anyways, it’s beautiful outside right now and I have to write an essay. I’m starting to think I should have gone to college to become an English to English translator. It sounds silly because it is, but I could translate what someone said into what they really thought. For example:

First person: I used to be a soap addict.

Second: What?

Translator’s translation: He’s clean now.

I just came back from Wilson Commons with my friend Alphonse. They were selling Halloween stuff so we bought this reversible jacket and let me tell you, we were disappointed how it turned out. There was a cheap looking magician’s hat. I thought it would look good on Alphonse, but he doesn’t know how to do any magic tricks. Fortunately, nothing seems to stress him out. So if he struggled with a trick, he wouldn’t get angry enough to pull a hare out. We walked out of Wilson Commons and started heading to Phase. Alphonse thought it would be funny to walk underneath the clock tower and I haven’t seen him since.

Horgan is a member of
the class of  2017.  

Tagged: Chris Horgan


An open letter to all members of any university community

I strongly oppose the proposed divestment resolution. This resolution is nothing more than another ugly manifestation of antisemitism at the University.

5 students banned from campus for Gaza solidarity encampment

UR has been banning community members from campus since November for on-campus protests, but the first bans for current students were issued this weekend.

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The Campus Times is a club student newspaper with a small reporting staff at a small, private University. We are…