Trying to get work done on a Sunday is as pointless as having the Doctor regenerate into a baby. The TARDIS would require a total makeover, and every character would have to attach themselves to booster seats before traveling through time. But who knows, maybe by the end of the baby’s tenure as the Doctor, everyone would be saying, “booster seats are cool.” Anyways, it’s beautiful outside right now and I have to write an essay. I’m starting to think I should have gone to college to become an English to English translator. It sounds silly because it is, but I could translate what someone said into what they really thought. For example:

First person: I used to be a soap addict.

Second: What?

Translator’s translation: He’s clean now.

I just came back from Wilson Commons with my friend Alphonse. They were selling Halloween stuff so we bought this reversible jacket and let me tell you, we were disappointed how it turned out. There was a cheap looking magician’s hat. I thought it would look good on Alphonse, but he doesn’t know how to do any magic tricks. Fortunately, nothing seems to stress him out. So if he struggled with a trick, he wouldn’t get angry enough to pull a hare out. We walked out of Wilson Commons and started heading to Phase. Alphonse thought it would be funny to walk underneath the clock tower and I haven’t seen him since.

Horgan is a member of
the class of  2017.  

Tagged: Chris Horgan


I don’t think anyone wants to do homework on Sunday

As per tradition, “The State of the Campus Times” updates readers on our affairs — the Editor-in-Chief (EIC) and Publisher write this pseudo-column at the start and end of every semester to articulate the struggles and joys found through managing your local student-run newspaper. We also introduce ourselves and our projects, what we hope to achieve during our terms, and we provide progress updates regarding past management’s pursuits. Read More

I don’t think anyone wants to do homework on Sunday

So far, I’ve already tried a few alternative methods because, according to my doctor, my liver “can’t take much more of this,” and I think one has finally stuck. Read More

I don’t think anyone wants to do homework on Sunday

Through a live demonstration and tasting, Chef Dede prepared fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, and collard greens – dishes rooted in Black Southern history. Students leaned in as she explained the methods and care that go into each plate. Read More