Trying to get work done on a Sunday is as pointless as having the Doctor regenerate into a baby. The TARDIS would require a total makeover, and every character would have to attach themselves to booster seats before traveling through time. But who knows, maybe by the end of the baby’s tenure as the Doctor, everyone would be saying, “booster seats are cool.” Anyways, it’s beautiful outside right now and I have to write an essay. I’m starting to think I should have gone to college to become an English to English translator. It sounds silly because it is, but I could translate what someone said into what they really thought. For example:

First person: I used to be a soap addict.

Second: What?

Translator’s translation: He’s clean now.

I just came back from Wilson Commons with my friend Alphonse. They were selling Halloween stuff so we bought this reversible jacket and let me tell you, we were disappointed how it turned out. There was a cheap looking magician’s hat. I thought it would look good on Alphonse, but he doesn’t know how to do any magic tricks. Fortunately, nothing seems to stress him out. So if he struggled with a trick, he wouldn’t get angry enough to pull a hare out. We walked out of Wilson Commons and started heading to Phase. Alphonse thought it would be funny to walk underneath the clock tower and I haven’t seen him since.

Horgan is a member of
the class of  2017.  

Tagged: Chris Horgan

Commuting, the death of me

As a Rochester native, I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. I wanted to leave everything and everyone behind.

David Jin strives for perfection with “Moments I Missed”

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TikTok trend spurs rise in campus elevators thefts

Close acquaintances of the dirty, dirty criminals claimed that one party “would sneak his hand in at the last second to feel how tight it squeezed."