When Trevor Tahiem Smith, Jr. called UR to say that his daughter was interested in visiting campus on April 26, the school mentioned that it was coincidentally Dandelion Day. After learning about D-Day, Smith offered to provide some sort of entertainment. Academically-oriented as they are, school administrators thought Smith was offering to give some sort of lecture — great, they thought, who doesn’t love a nice pastry platter in Hawkins-Carlson?

Aaron Schaffer – Photo Editor

When administrators discussed this new development with the Campus Activities Board, though, they discovered they had just inadvertently invited “Busta Rhymes,” the semi-sensation of the 1990s rap scene, to campus.

“It honestly never occurred to us that this could be him,” Dean of Admissions Jon Burdick said. “Who ever heard of a rapper old enough to be the parent of a prospective student? What is he, like 50?”

However, as not to anger any prospective family who might be tricked into paying full tuition for the next four years, the school decided it was best not to renege on the acceptance of Rhymes’ offer. Ironically, UR Concerts had actually secured an amazing musical act for this year — I can’t even tell you, you’d be too upset — but was forced to cancel to make room for the impromptu rap performance.

Despite the many changes that D-Day has undergone over the past few years to appease campus officials, the school has decided to ease up on some of the new rules in light of the recent change of events. The email from Dean of Students Matthew Burns banning open containers and campus drinking has in fact been rescinded by a higher authority.

“Come on,” University President Joel Seligman said. “Even I know that no one’s listened to Busta Rhymes sober since, well, actually ever.”

Seligman continued, saying that as a community tested by Internet scandal, death, and the decline of Douglass Dining Hall, we can come together and persevere through a Busta Rhymes show.

“It could actually be kind of cool,” sophomore and resident hipster Charles Clover said. “Vintage is very in.”

Berrin-Reinstein is a member of the class of 2013.



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