Problems occur in all of our lives.  The intensity of conflicts may differ, but when it comes down to it, each individual has his or her own set of things that can emotionally affect them for the worse.  Furthermore, each person has their own way of dealing with their emotions. While others are very outward with them and express how they feel, others hold in all of their emotions and have trouble communicating their feelings.

An important way of overcoming stress or depression is being able to have at least one person you can just talk to about it.  Not only does talking about something enable you to find a root of a problem that was unknown to you before, you also are able to get another spin on the conflict.  Everyone thinks differently, and as a result, if you express how you feel about a situation to someone, there’s a good chance they can give you good feedback with another way to look at that situation.  For example, growing up, I knew a friend who had a family that had a lot of problems internally. 

My friend sought me out when his parents were fighting, and he was very upset about how they might separate.  In his mind, he was seeing the issue as they would divorce, and thus, he would be void of the family that he had had while he grew up.  However, I thought about his situation a little bit differently.  If his parents were to go their own ways, the conflicts and emotional stress present in the family would disappear.  I reminded my friend that his parents’ issues were their own, and that even though he shouldn’t disregard what is happening in the family, he shouldn’t let their issues bog his life down.  If anything, he should talk to his parents separately and use the faults in their own relationship as lessons for his life. 

Another reason why talking is so important is because it also can open the conflict a lot more and give someone more information that can help them deal with it.  Finding the root of a conflict is one of the best ways of dealing with stress. How can someone find the source of a problem if they don’t talk to anyone?  It’s important to find someone who is not only trustworthy, but a good listener.  It doesn’t have to be someone who can relate necessarily, but try to find someone who you know can actively help you.  Reaching out to people can also give you positive feelings, because it can help show you that people care about you.  Whether you are an inward or an outward person, thinking positively is probably the most important way to overcome a personal issue.  Keep your head up, look ahead, and make sure that you find a silver lining in everything.  Why let something bad haunt you and bring you and those around you down when you can accomplish things and be a positive influence?

Donner is a member of the class of 2016.



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